My question to you is- what does family mean to you?
Does family mean you love each other unconditionally, but don't have to like each other?
Does it mean that you allow others to make their own disastrous mistakes and keep your mouth closed?
Does it mean that you try to divert them when they're on a collision course with heartbreak or failure or stupidity?
Does it mean you "agree to disagree" every time you are with them?
Does family always ask the other person first whats new?
Does family always extend the invitation, or is it assumed the invite is always open?
Does family mean open communication but only if it won't butthurt anyone (and does everyone's family have that one person who's butthurt about EVERYTHING?)
I love my family.
I would fight like a savage to protect them, I would guide them like no one guided me away from all failures and misdemeanors and stupid acts I have traipsed through. I want to be the matriarch, the one they look to (not look UP to), the one who's got words of wisdom that people actually seek out. I want to be the shoulder to cry on, the secret keeper. I don't want to pass judgement on any of them.
I watch my relatively happy suburban family fall apart a little every day. Some would say it started- on both sides of the family- when the grandfathers passed away. It gets worse when the mothers started keeping their mouths shut about the affairs of the children. It continued to get worse as they children preyed on each other. Now a days, the grandchildren barely even speak to each other. So one big family tree has broken into a million separate pieces. Strength in numbers is a hindsight- everyone can take care of themselves. No one needs any of the others, and why keep people in your life that are of no use to you? Within the households, brothers and sisters don't speak- They even go as far as to wish ill will toward each other. their children are getting married and "doing the right thing" and inviting their parents brothers and sisters, and those brothers and sisters are declining. They don't care that that day is about their niece or nephew, not the feud between the brothers and sisters. While some people may have a "back up list" of people to fill their spots, some only invited the people who SHOULD BE most important. It is sad when a soon-to-be spouse says "I've never met your father's brother". It is sad when introductions of family members are made at weddings and funerals. It is sad when more people show up to a funeral than to a wedding. It is sad that people care more for a person right around the time of their death than for the past 20 years....
So what has family come to mean in today's day and age? Where is the idea of "family" going?
Is a family two people who kinda like each other and live together and had a few kids and share everything, but never wanted to make that long term commitment to EACH OTHER?
Is a family a man taking over another mans spot who didn't want the job as husband and father- or a woman taking over as mother and wife?
Is a family grandma and grandpa raising their child's kid in their house while their child continually chooses not to better themselves, and in turn chooses to not be a better role model for their own flesh and blood? Is a family when that same child doesn't know who's mom or dad, who's grandma or grandpa, who's an aunt or uncle?
Families teach us how to be a human being, a person. Little families- single moms or dads with a child. Big families- in Europe up to 3 generations can live in the same house simultaneously, "growing up" together. Back in the day in NY, "clans" were not uncommon in apartment buildings. Aunts, uncles, cousins, third cousins- your father's sister's husband's niece was family.
Whatever family is, are we making sure that all members participating are assisting all other members to be the best they can be- To always better themselves?
BECAUSE, WHAT ARE WE HERE FOR IF NOT TO BE BETTER THAN WE WERE YESTERDAY?!
Does family mean you love each other unconditionally, but don't have to like each other?
Does it mean that you allow others to make their own disastrous mistakes and keep your mouth closed?
Does it mean that you try to divert them when they're on a collision course with heartbreak or failure or stupidity?
Does it mean you "agree to disagree" every time you are with them?
Does family always ask the other person first whats new?
Does family always extend the invitation, or is it assumed the invite is always open?
Does family mean open communication but only if it won't butthurt anyone (and does everyone's family have that one person who's butthurt about EVERYTHING?)
I love my family.
I would fight like a savage to protect them, I would guide them like no one guided me away from all failures and misdemeanors and stupid acts I have traipsed through. I want to be the matriarch, the one they look to (not look UP to), the one who's got words of wisdom that people actually seek out. I want to be the shoulder to cry on, the secret keeper. I don't want to pass judgement on any of them.
I watch my relatively happy suburban family fall apart a little every day. Some would say it started- on both sides of the family- when the grandfathers passed away. It gets worse when the mothers started keeping their mouths shut about the affairs of the children. It continued to get worse as they children preyed on each other. Now a days, the grandchildren barely even speak to each other. So one big family tree has broken into a million separate pieces. Strength in numbers is a hindsight- everyone can take care of themselves. No one needs any of the others, and why keep people in your life that are of no use to you? Within the households, brothers and sisters don't speak- They even go as far as to wish ill will toward each other. their children are getting married and "doing the right thing" and inviting their parents brothers and sisters, and those brothers and sisters are declining. They don't care that that day is about their niece or nephew, not the feud between the brothers and sisters. While some people may have a "back up list" of people to fill their spots, some only invited the people who SHOULD BE most important. It is sad when a soon-to-be spouse says "I've never met your father's brother". It is sad when introductions of family members are made at weddings and funerals. It is sad when more people show up to a funeral than to a wedding. It is sad that people care more for a person right around the time of their death than for the past 20 years....
So what has family come to mean in today's day and age? Where is the idea of "family" going?
Is a family two people who kinda like each other and live together and had a few kids and share everything, but never wanted to make that long term commitment to EACH OTHER?
Is a family a man taking over another mans spot who didn't want the job as husband and father- or a woman taking over as mother and wife?
Is a family grandma and grandpa raising their child's kid in their house while their child continually chooses not to better themselves, and in turn chooses to not be a better role model for their own flesh and blood? Is a family when that same child doesn't know who's mom or dad, who's grandma or grandpa, who's an aunt or uncle?
Families teach us how to be a human being, a person. Little families- single moms or dads with a child. Big families- in Europe up to 3 generations can live in the same house simultaneously, "growing up" together. Back in the day in NY, "clans" were not uncommon in apartment buildings. Aunts, uncles, cousins, third cousins- your father's sister's husband's niece was family.
Whatever family is, are we making sure that all members participating are assisting all other members to be the best they can be- To always better themselves?
BECAUSE, WHAT ARE WE HERE FOR IF NOT TO BE BETTER THAN WE WERE YESTERDAY?!
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