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Showing posts with the label emo

What lead me to clinical depression at the age of 30

Let's go back, back, waaaaaaaaay back to when I was a kid. When I was in 1st grade the school told my mother I probably had ADHD and should get tested and take medication to control it. My mother said I was just being a kid and she didn't medicate "kids being kids". Fair enough. However, I had this weird relationship with my mother where if she couldn't keep me quiet in front of the TV, she packed me away in my room as punishment for being too rowdy. I found out years later that it is actually called "emotional abuse" and it had been going on since my sister had been born in 1990. When I was in middle/ high school I started "feeling" anxiety. Every adolescent does. Being pretty or not, being popular or not, getting good grades, dealing with hormones. I had been made fun of since 2nd grade, and it had only gotten worse as I grew up. In 7th grade, I brought home my first C on my report card. Pre- Algebra. I still, to this day, hate everythin...

I once thought I could be a singer song writer...

fate has turned its back on me opeeeen my eyes (to a world full of dreams) where ever-y-thing (nothing) is as granduer as it seems splash the bluest water in my faaaace, and in its place... reeee-a-liiize: fate has turned its back on meee lived so long, let it take the reins become a runaway train a zombie in an imaginary world awoke frighten child sooobs and chokes the dingy water stings my eeeyes fate has fufilled nothing but liiiies abberation: the only way to survive deviate and derive acumen: renew a sense of self again and blow the ashes away with the wind (Emo song lyrics from yours truly, circa 2010)