The (NOT SO) Skinny Girl

As I sit here in my pajamas, trying to finish eating cold oatmeal and drink cold coffee, with my 3 month old daughter fussing at my side- the little dictator that she is- I say to myself, "Wow, if only 20-year-old me could see me now". What do I mean when I say that? I mean I was pretty much hell on wheels until I was 28. A hot mess for too long. In no way a role model or even proud of myself for .... anything really. I didn't speak eloquently or smartly, I was often not a respectful person towards other, I was probably down right insensitive. And I was kinda a tramp. Not exactly the kind of person you'd want around kids or even to take home to meet Mom and Grandma. But, hey- PEOPLE CHANGE. In the words of Kevin Hart: "   If you don't believe that people change, grow, evolve as they get older, I don't know what to tell you. If you want to hold people in a position where they always have to justify or explain their past, then do you."   Can we all...

I posted this one year ago on my FB page. Little did I know that within a year, everyone would be trying to tell everyone else how to live 100% worse than they were at that moment in time. What do I mean? "Accept trans people, let them use your bathroom, and don't call them by any pronouns associated with any specific gender" "Accept feminists, listen to their rants, support them as they protest, pay for their birth control" "Accept pro-choice supporters, because you're a woman and you should know we should have the only control over our own bodies. If that means everyone in the country chips in for our birth control and medical well-being and abortions, so be it. We have the right to choose" "Accept illegal aliens, let them live here free of national responsibility, pay for their medical, send their kids to the schools you pay for, don't alienate them" "Accept fat people, don't act like their lifestyle is unhealthy,...

The Problem Is Most People Are Reactive First Thing In The Morning When the alarm goes off, they’re already hitting the snooze button and beginning the day in a REACTIVE STATE. They then have to rush to get ready, flood themselves with stress and anxiety thinking about all the things they have to do that day. Or they feel so tired and exhausted that after their 8 hours of sleep that they need to have their coffee just to give themselves a boost of energy...  And Sure Enough,  They Repeat The Same Pattern  Day After Day... Repeating The Same Reactive Morning Ritual.

For those of you (US) struggling with bettering yourself... Whether it is  losing weight, advancing professionally, finishing school, changing the world (ETC ETC)... You need to change your mind first and then you can begin to change other things.

This is a (kinda) serious question.... If I eat two bags of Skinny Pop popcorn, will I be skinny(er)??? Seriously though. No really, this stuff is delicious.

Here's the article:  https://www.buzzfeed.com/natalyalobanova/ways-you-didnt-realise-youve-internalised-misogyny?utm_term=.xkrLmEXG0#.acBY3xOGR  Here's the title: 23 Ways You May Have Internalised Misogyny Without Even Realising Boy oh boy it's rant/response time!! Definition of misogyny: dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women. So if I dislike some women, or things some of them they do, or judge some of them... then I am a misogynist? That seems extreme. Read the article, then move on to my response to it *I've been appalled by body hair on other women- mustaches and 5 o'clock shadows mostly- while allowing some of mine to get unruly at times (So I participate in no shave November, judge me). *I've felt uncomfortable having stubble under my arms, on my legs, and on my bikini line-- That's my personal feeling about it and my personal regret for overlooking it. I take responsibility for why I feel uncomfortable, and I usu...

Fat shaming. Slut shaming. Thin shaming. White shaming. Privilege shaming. Straight shaming. Fake tan and comb over shaming. Shame shame shame on you! I had no idea that I am quadruply privileged. Apparently... I need to check my white privilege, my straight privilege, my thin privilege, and my woman privilege. Why does being what I am, make me privileged? Why does working hard and benefiting from it make me privileged? WHY DOS EVERYONE ELSE THINK I'M PRIVILEGED AND I'M ALL OVER HERE LIKE "WOE IS ME.... LIFE SUCKS"???? I think I know the answer. When people are unhappy with things, they like to disagree. Makes sense. I agree with that. When people are unhappy with things that they don't want to take responsibility for, they start to blame/shame other people.  I am fat. I feel lesser.                                  You make me feel lesser. Shame on you! I am black. I feel less...

What does that even mean?? Ides comes from an old Latin verb iduare, which meant "to divide." It was the Roman term for the day that came in the middle of each month. So Beware... but all it means is "halfway through the month." Every month has an Ides. March had 31 days, so the Ides of March is on March 15. TODAY So what should we beware of today? Not a bunch of conspirators stabbing us on the steps of the Roman capital building... unless you're an unliked Roman consulate. How about: Dangers of smoking... active inhalation and passive Dangers of not taking care of ourselves, included by not limited to: Regular screenings, regular physicals, nutrition, mental health, physical health, emotional health Dangers of judgments and prejudices Dangers of extremists and extremism... included by not limited to: Liberals, feminists, Islamic state, the two major parties, social justice warriors, racial justice warriors Dangers of texting, 'Snapping,...

Taking Responsibility For Your Life Everything you are or ever will be is completely up to you. Everything that has happened and is happening in your life is because of your behavior, words, and actions. You have the freedom of choice. Virtually every circumstance in your life so far, you have chosen out of your own free will. This means, that you are completely responsible for all your successes and failures; your happiness; your unhappiness; and everything in your present and future. This realization is like a parachute jump: It’s scary and exhilarating at the same time. Taking total responsibility for your life is one of the most important things you can ever do. Accepting complete responsibility for all your actions represents maturity in your life. When you accept complete responsibility for everything in your life, success, achievement, and self-actualization will follow. You can never accomplish anything of value in your life or have any real measure of happiness without firs...

Even if that something is just getting out of bed. Or eating a banana or yogurt instead of a bagel. Or walking up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Or holding the door for someone-- or not expecting a gracious response when you do. Or putting in a little extra effort on one project, with one client, or with your spouse or child or dog. Think about what the smallest step you can take towards a huge goal is... and do it.  And the least thing you can do to make your tomorrow better, is to just smile today. The tiniest things, the smallest steps is how you get started, get going. In the words of Dominick Torreto: "It doesn't matter if it's an inch or a mile, winning's winning."

DEAR DEPRESSION, I'm tired of letting you steer the boat. I think you ought to jump ship. I want to be the captain of my own life again.... Kindly F**K off. Thanks!

So tax season is in full swing. My documents are in the queue to be processed and filed with my accountant. Which brings me to my first point of discussion.... using an actual person (accountant) to do your taxes vs. Turbo tax (or other electronic self-filing program). -If you are outraged that wealthy people (including Trump) get 'unfair' tax breaks, what have you done to remedy your own situation? Have you read up on tax law lately? Do you know the ins and outs of the system? Do you know how to make it work for you? Do you know the secrets of the trade? NO?! THEN WHY THE  F**K  ARE YOU USING A SELF GUIDED PROGRAM TO COMPLETE YOUR TAXES? -If you think that having a professional do your taxes is too expensive, and would rather let a cheap or free program assist you, then why are you crying that you don't make out on your taxes? -If you cry year after year about how your 'return' turns out... why aren't you seeking additional guidance/assistance? Why are yo...

There are so many things to compare and fight for in this day and age. Comparing women vs men and fighting for equal rights. Comparing legal citizens vs illegal citizens and fighting for their rights. Comparing gay vs straight, humanitarian outlook vs self-survival outlook, or classic gender assignment vs new age gender assignment.... really the list can go on but I'm already face-palming and shaking my head.... WHY? Because the bottom line is we are all HUMANS (right??) and we all have certain unalienable rights- in my opinion best outlined as life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness... and then to be sub-categorized accordingly. What I would like to focus on, in light of February being BLACK HISTORY MONTH, is the Black vs White conundrum that all people are faced with. Last night I attended an event, and I was the minority. Me. White, suburban ME. I was out to promote a dear friend of mine and have a good time. I was out of place and felt it. There were a hand...

So the trigger meme: "Millenials pay all the bills people in 1995 did- plus cell/internet, plus rent/food costs x2, plus student loans, with no increase in wages." #the struggle is real  #millenial problems Here we go again. #1 comment that pissed me off:  If I had a dime for every time a baby boomer said millennials are lazy, I could buy a house in the economy they ruined for us. My response... True millennials are lazy. The ones that mooch off their parents- don't pay for their own rent and health insurance and food- while working one menial job post graduation and whining that they don't have all the things the world has to offer. And then you have the ones who happen to fall into the age group pf "Millennial" who work 2 or 3 jobs, rent a modest place, go without internet in their home and use free WiFi when they need it, shop around to get the best deal on a cell phone carrier, buy a second hand car for half the payment of a brand new lease. Al...

It's kind of funny when people tell you not to complain or worry or have an opinion or -worst of all- do something I hate the phrase "you wouldn't understand....". It's usually followed by something generalized or judgemental that the person has no clue how it affects you (and truthfully probably doesn't care). You wouldn't understand, you're white. You wouldn't understand, you're skinny. You wouldn't understand, you have a college degree. You wouldn't understand, you have money. You wouldn't understand you're not a wife/parent/or any other designation. And ya know it's actually hurtful... Because you're assuming I'm not HUMAN- that I don't CARE. That I don't have that basic human compassion for others in me. You assume I don't have feelings or can't understand complex human interactions or thoughts. All sorts of assuming. And after assuming how I think or feel, what I am or am not... You th...

A "news outlet" aired a video of a Texas Mayor saying he is  "more fearful of large gatherings of young white men that come into schools, theaters and shoot people up"  than any Muslim or refugee. Now that's all fine and dandy. Everyone is entitled to their opinion- and Texas has a very large Muslim population. It also has had multiple incidents of "mass" (4 or more dead) shootings perpetrated by both Muslims and whites. Of course people are quick to jump on his bandwagon and say that white people are the devil. UM, WHAT? So the majority of the country is "the devil"... ? My original comment to this video is : "It's actually not large gatherings of white men who do these terrible things... it's isolated incidents of individuals. And yes some are white. Except the Orlando shooter and the San Bernadino shooter and the Virginia Tech shooter, the Boston marathon bombers (pretty sure they were considered refugees) and oh yeah t...

It has come to my attention that people have no problem disregarding my voice, my opinion, my outlooks, my feelings, and my attempts to rationalize the craziness that is going on in the world- and it seems to me that it's because they are too busy generalizing me and who I am and that based on their assumptions they are unwilling to see me fit to also have a say. So let me tell you a little MORE about me. I think this should be made into a video to start my vlog channel. Hi. I'm Jasmine. People call me Jazzy, Feisty, Jersey. Call me basic bitch for all I care. I'm white . I'm female . I fall into that 21-40 age range. I'm short. I have some sort of Italian American heritage that is noticeable in the way I talk loudly and using exaggerated hand gestures, the way (and amount of food) I cook, and my overall persona- some would even say I have an accent. I grew up in suburban, urban, and rural America. I'm some sort of educated... I have a high sc...

I have said it before and I will say it again-- BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD. Be it. Do it. Take action. "Teacher tell student 'you and your parents are getting deported'... is this Trump's America?" If we are blaming Trump for the teacher's actions.... If there are people out there blaming Trump for their actions, those people are a huge part of the problem. Those people are the ones inciting fear. Anyone who blames other people for the way they act or present themselves or treat others is a problem. And I feel that problem gets fixed by starting at HOME. Since when did we stop teaching kindness, and equality at HOME. Since when did we stop preaching accountability and respect at HOME? Because all the little a-holes running around running their mouths and not respecting other people, bullying other people, forcing their views on other people, blaming other people are more of a problem than the one man the majority of America e...

I guess I should say that YES I DO CARE... however there is more we can DO to fix our problems. We can start a revolution, by educating ourselves and our offspring. We can start a movement with deep roots. We can change the way we act to the world, and thus influence the way they act towards us. We can eliminate our problems, not just for ourselves- but for future generations. We can train, nurture, and produce better human beings than we have. We can do this- we can make the difference. Will you be the one to take the first step?