The (NOT SO) Skinny Girl

My Intro to NaPro Technology... the bioLOGICAL path for those struggling to concieve. A few weeks ago I randomly met a woman who may potentially change the course of my 'trying to conceive' journey. After I got done working at the farm, I decided to go to the MedExpress because I hadn't been feeling good all day. I checked in and waited for an eternity to be called back. Finally a smiling and friendly nurse called me back to begin my exam. She asked me about my symptoms and took my vitals. She was intrigued when I told her I was having pain that was either my kidney or my ovary. She asked me why I thought it was that. I told her I have many instances of either kidney stones, kidney infections, or ovarian cysts rupturing. She started to ask me about my cycle to see if she could rule that out. I showed her my ovulation tracking app, and she asked me how long I had been tracking. I told her 2.5 years of tracking and TTC, so thus my cycles are pretty regular and I'm kind

I use the "Glow Fertility- ovulation/period tracker" app, I have been a 'member' of the Glow community for about 2 years now. I have learned that there is something called the 2WW (not to be confused with WW2)- the two week wait. So, the way I understand it is- women who are trying to conceive should wait 2 weeks after projected or confirmed ovulation to take a pregnancy test. 2 weeks. Assuming that 14 days post ovulation is time enough to see if you've gotten the deed done and if the oven's got the bun. So this month I decided to look at my "ovulation date"- which was confirmed by a very painful ovulation- and calculate the exact # of days from that day to the day my period was due to arrive. 15 days projected, it arrived in 16 days. All of the ladies who are looking for support during the 2WW say things like "When is it too early to test, I just can't wait the 14 days I want to know now". Multiply that by like, 100 people. Oooor,

I've been told I'm good at this ranting thing. Well, today I need to. I have mentioned that at one point, I had a friend along with me on this journey. We confided in each other- She was at 1 year of trying, I was almost at 2. 1 year is when your Dr will start working with you about your fertility or TTC(trying to conceive) concerns. So she went to her doctor who sent her for the routine blood-work and for the ultrasound of her uterus and ovaries, and was told to start tracking her cycle more closely and time things better. She did that for 6 months. On the 6th month- these are her words straight to my ears- she got frustrated, stopped thinking about it and "trying". That was the month they nailed it. Apparently, that makes her a 'getting pregnant guru'. She called me to tell me, texted me a pic of the ultrasound. Invited me over for the gender reveal. Of course I tried to be supportive and happy for her. It was kind of a kick in the uterus the way that

It's very ironic to me that on the day that a new governor is elected in my state, a governor who wants to make my state a sanctuary state, my husband is watching the documentary about Elian Gonzalez... 17 years ago, I was 13. Elian was 7. His mother wanted to escape from Cuba. She put him in a boat (of some sort) that she and her cohorts created- because that was the loophole that Castro gave them. If you make your own boat, feel free to GTFO. Feel free to try and make your way to the sanctuary city of Miami, 'new Cuba'/'little Cuba'." His parent made the decision to uproot him, his mother decided to take him from his father and the rest of the family HE KNEW AND LOVED... and head for the US where some of her family lived. This is not something new. This is something that still goes on. People send their kids to the US to have the better life, usually as illegals. People send them to aunts and uncles, to cousins, less often to older family members like grand

10/30/17 I drive 2 hours through east bumblefuck, to emerge in a city I've only ever heard of. I follow the directions I found via Google because no one called to confirm my appointment. They probably didn't because I called them back a week after making the appointment to see if their were any cancellations and if I could move it up- I was in luck and successful in that. We moved it from the Friday to the Monday. Anyway, the directions bring me to the wrong place. WTF I was early for once! I frantically call and get the correct address. I show up and they say they have a ton of paperwork for me to fill out and I'm late. I calmly reply that the address listed online is incorrect and I called 5 minutes ago asking for the address as I stood at the other building. They lament that it's been 6 months since they've moved and it's still not updated. I tell them before I sit to fill out my paperwork that if they give me the fax number, I'll have the records sent

I've been struggling with infertility for almost 2 years now. Hanging around with people who are deciding when to have their second or third child is really wearing me down right now. I've been struggling with depression for over a year now. Money issues, infertility, career struggles, anxiety, normal marital issues... all contribute to my depression. All contributed to night terrors and panic attacks.... all contributed to suicidal thoughts. Suicidal thoughts led me to seek help. I've been struggling, I've been working hard to pull myself out of the emotional hole I was living in. The fall was not quick, it was one thing after another pushing me down, down, deeper. The upward battle was a crawl at best. But there were road blocks. The biggest road block was not knowing what path I wanted to take. The biggest set back was knowing I wan't happy with many aspects of my life, and not working on the BIGGEST ones. The little baby steps I took, they were barely notic

I'm not sure if I ever mentioned that we "waited" to conceive during certain parts of our journey? We got married in June 2015. I had been off birth control a few months and we had not used condoms in years. Technically, we were not 'trying' right after we got married- we had two months until our honeymoon and I was afraid of morning sickness and not being able to enjoy ourselves in Slovakia, Poland, and Italy... especially the wonderful wine... So we didn't actively try until we touched down in Italy, our beautiful, wonderful adventure of a honeymoon. At that point, I didn't know much about my cycle and my ovulation days and what not. We came home, I got my period, and reports of "we're pregnant" started pouring in immediately. A couple who got married a week after us got pregnant immediately, a couple who got married in September got pregnant immediately, two couples who had been married a few years let us know they were pregnant- one with

There is EVIL in this world. There is no situational ethics involved here... it is not comprehensible what leads people to this kind of evil. Since the beginning of time, there have been bad people doing bad things because EVIL lives among us. It is part of the world, in equality with the parts of LOVE and GOODNESS. 58 people(do not count the vile creature that did this) lost their lives while trying to enjoy themselves- while relaxing, having fun... and less than an hour after joining together as a crowd to sing "GOD BLESS AMERICA". I was appalled, I was sick to my stomach, I was panicked, I was sad, I was angry. I am 2,555 miles away from this tragedy. Every side in America cares deeply about the lives lost in this tragedy, we just have different solutions to this kind of ...thing. This kind of event. This kind of horrible, tragic disaster. We all care about what happened in Vegas- we all just disagree about the policy. The 2nd amendment, when written, was about w

I posted this one year ago on my FB page. Little did I know that within a year, everyone would be trying to tell everyone else how to live 100% worse than they were at that moment in time. What do I mean? "Accept trans people, let them use your bathroom, and don't call them by any pronouns associated with any specific gender" "Accept feminists, listen to their rants, support them as they protest, pay for their birth control" "Accept pro-choice supporters, because you're a woman and you should know we should have the only control over our own bodies. If that means everyone in the country chips in for our birth control and medical well-being and abortions, so be it. We have the right to choose" "Accept illegal aliens, let them live here free of national responsibility, pay for their medical, send their kids to the schools you pay for, don't alienate them" "Accept fat people, don't act like their lifestyle is unhealthy,

I have a Bachelor of Science in Large Animal (Equine)Science. I studied cows, pigs, llamas, goats, sheep, horses...Even bison at one point! Everything large and in charge in the domestic animal world. I believe my diploma says "Equine Science and Management, specialization in Equine Breeding". What did I want to do?? I was once told the back side of the track was not the place for a "girl", but I wanted that life so bad. I wanted to be the go-to, do-it-all thoroughbred girl: managing the foaling, weaning them at about 6 months, taking the yearlings at the sale, taking the two-year-olds to the track for breezing. I have foaled out many a mare, I have handled many a new foal, I have collected stallions, I have had walked the colic-er all night, I have held a broken leg in my hand, I have pinched ripped skin to determine is staples or sutures or packing is appropriate. I have jogged a "mile back" on the track on a crisp summer morning. I have taught

So after the HSG there were many reports of conception for couples because the procedure opens up the tubes and cleans them out. So my husband did some research and got a little excited about it, told me about it, and I have been (trying really hard not to!!) waiting, watching and counting down until the day my app says I should get my period. And again, like clockwork, the floodgates opened. My husband asked me last night why I was acting weird. I told him I was tired (overtired really), sore, grumpy. I seriously was starting to think I was pregnant. My boobs were tender at one point this week, I had these pangs in certain areas, I felt nauseous a few days. I was starting to settle in to the thought of finally being pregnant- because I KNOW what it felt like- and then starting to worry about life decisions like going out on the motorcycle earlier that day and feeling uncomfortable and unsafe (what if I wasn't traveling alone??), like having a few drinks throughout the weekend.

So my husband and I have been toying with the idea of IVF. That some sort of fertility treatment is probably the next step. And I figure there are three steps to try. If you think/know of others, please share in the comments! 1. Inject his sperm directly into my uterus 2. Take hormones to make sure I am poly ovulating (not sure the scientific term- but it causes more than one egg to ovulate) during a cycle or two 3. Put sperm and egg in petri dish and force glorious union which is then deposited into uterus While I would love to think that being zen and chill and happy with my life as it is could lead to a spontaneous conception during my next cycle, it's hard to be terribly optimistic. And I'm really really fighting optimism this month after my husband read article upon article saying couples had a higher chance of conception after the HSG procedure because it kind of cleans the cobwebs out of the tubes. Gross, but you get the idea. It's like draino for your lady plum

Headline:  As we celebrate marriage equality and LGBTQ acceptance, we must remember there is still a long way to go. (via  Channel 4 News ) Video subtitles: Homosexuality is still illegal in 72 countries. In 8 nations it is punishable by death. In 2014, two Iranian men were hanged for Sodomy. In 2003, three men were publicly beheaded for homosexual acts in Abha, ASIR Province. (WAIT WHY IS THE INFO SO OLD?? DON'T THEY HAVE SOMETHING  A LITTLE MORE RECENT?) Uganda is one of 14 nations where same-sex acts are punishable by 14 years to life in prison.Uganda's president, Yoweri Museveni stated " No study has shown that you can be homosexual purely by nature. Since nurture is the main cause of homosexuality, then society can do something about it to discourage the trends." Homosexuality is outlawed in the majority of Africa. (Shows crying people- but I hear there's a lot to cry about in Africa...) Homophobia is on the rise in the continent, often enabled by new, s

Yesterday I took a day off work, in the middle of the week in the middle of the summer. And everyone asked me"OH WHAT FUN PLANS DO YOU HAVE??" And I just answered, "nothing really". Which wasn't quite true. I didn't sit on the beach or go somewhere fun and exciting. I slept in, walked the dog, rode my motorcycle around a little to clear my head. Then my husband and I made a trip up to the local hospital to meet up with my OBGYN for a "small procedure". In response to my anxiety over this, my husband had been saying "It's just another test" for weeks since I scheduled it. Last week I finally broke down and cried and asked him -- "What if something is WRONG with me?" You don't go to the hospital and schedule in a department for 'just another test'. They don't tell you to take 1000mg of ibuprofen an hour prior to ease cramping or bring in sterile tools and betadine for 'just another test'. It was a p

It's so easy right now to just go off on people. Mostly due to our own ignorance, or own perceived self-worth. Today, right now, it is easier to react rather than take it in and formulate our actions. It is easier to let our filter be non-existent and just spew... like the girl from The Exorcist. Spewing garbage, hate, and often stupidity. It is much harder to listen, take it in, to take it into account, and then take our time to carefully formulate a response, an opnion, or a perception. Our minds are half-assed on display, while our hearts are caged away. It is a scary time, it is a hateful time, and it is all of our faults.

In August 2016, I wrote a post called "Making babies... it's not that easy". And today, a year later I have the same feelings about that statement. We started TTC in AUgust 2015, 2 months after we got married when we were in Europe on our honeymoon. It was a magical time, we stayed in a rooftop loft in Rome, had a balcony overlooking the sea and Mt Vesuvius in Sorrento, and ate gelato in the squares of Florence. Absolutely fairytale-esque. But no baby came from that honeymoon, and no baby has yet to come into our hearts and arms. I have spent money on ovulation prediction kits, a cycle tracking app, and pre-natal vitamins. I have watched almost all of our friends become parents. I have watched my (sorry, here comes a rant) mooching 30-something-year-old sister suck the life out of my parents as they helped her raise her first kid, and then proceeded to have a second one. I have had blood work run and been palpated. My husband has done tests. I am going for a

Poster:  I really don't get how people can equate BLM/Black Panthers to neo-nazis/KKK/nazis/alt-right. They are not the same thing. The thing that troubles me is that it's so many people on my feed doing this whether it be with statuses or comments on statuses. I really don't get how you can come to this conclusion. Boy oh boy... if you don't get how people come to these conclusions, it's because you are not actually listening to the other person speak. Here we go! (My response) BLM IS a hate group. They readily say things like "Whites are genetic defects, are 'subhuman', and should be 'wiped out'". Listen to some of the rhetoric of the most powerful partners of BLM. Co- Founder Yusra Khogali? She uses her status and fame to call for more violence by her extreme group. She is known for is known for her public diatribes and violent rhetoric. She led the disruption of a gay pride parade- who ARE AS or MORE oppressed than the blacks. A

Interesting that Huffpost has no problem sharing the footage of this... with a biased headline. The headline should read: Protestors destroy public property, face felony charges. But these are peaceful people, right? The ANTIFA protestors are always peaceful. It's the alt right white supremacists who we need to fear. Antifa are peaceful people... who don't take the time to petition and do things the right way. You know like kindly asking the county whose property it was on to remove it. But I mean, the alt right rally had permits and paid fees to set up in Charlottesville. They had permission to be there- They're terrible!! Vandalism is "action involving deliberate destruction of or damage to public or private property." Vandalism and destruction of property are both criminal charges- you could be convicted of breaking something minor with malicious intent, or bashing someone's car until it's unrecognizable with a baseball bat with CLEARLY malicious in

There is a video of a Trans man (a man who charades as a woman of sorts?) named Zoey Tur (Inside Edition reporter) engaging in a conversation with Ben Shapiro (Breitbart News senior editor-at-large). It seems they were supposed to be having some sort of debate about whether Caitlin Jenner, also trans (a man who charades as a woman of sorts?), deserved the "woman of the year award" for 'bravery'. It erupted when Ben stated that Caitlin is in no way a woman, and neither is Zoey, because- FACTS. Fav line ever:  "Facts don't care about your feelings." Ben refuses to live in Zoey's reality. Ben refuses to accept things that are not based on facts. Ben sees the facts and will not be bullied into saying, doing, or believing anything illogical. At one point, the panel started getting raucous and off topic, so Ben Shapiro asked if the discussion was supposed to be on genetics and asked Zoey, “What are your genetics, sir?” (because, FACTS) Zoey proceeded