The (NOT SO) Skinny Girl

I had told my husband- after being invited to many of them and seeing more than 'a few' on social media - that I didn't want to have a gender reveal. To me, it's stupid. Being invited to one, I'm like "Do we bring a gift?" or "How does this work?" I think that after being pregnant, I have a better grasp on them and a more solid opinion of them. For my first child, we decided to hold off on a few things. We didn't do the 14 week blood test that would 100% tell us the gender, because it would also tell us a slew of other genetic information (such as if it had Downs or other diseases) that we decided was inconsequential. We didn't find out together during the ultrasound at 20 weeks what baby was, we took home an envelope. We didn't even open that envelope together. My husband actually ran inside the house, opened it, and had it tucked away before I got inside. He HAD TO know, I didn't. I was happy with having a healthy baby growing...

I've been struggling with infertility for almost 2 years now. Hanging around with people who are deciding when to have their second or third child is really wearing me down right now. I've been struggling with depression for over a year now. Money issues, infertility, career struggles, anxiety, normal marital issues... all contribute to my depression. All contributed to night terrors and panic attacks.... all contributed to suicidal thoughts. Suicidal thoughts led me to seek help. I've been struggling, I've been working hard to pull myself out of the emotional hole I was living in. The fall was not quick, it was one thing after another pushing me down, down, deeper. The upward battle was a crawl at best. But there were road blocks. The biggest road block was not knowing what path I wanted to take. The biggest set back was knowing I wan't happy with many aspects of my life, and not working on the BIGGEST ones. The little baby steps I took, they were barely notic...

I have a new idea for a video. While I was cleaning stalls at the barn I ride at, I realized that I have certain qualities that the next generation will never have. If someone asked why am I 30 years old cleaning stalls like I did when I was 16... the answer is because it's humbling work and I am working off things that I want. I am working so that I can get free lessons or free trailering to shows- or money which I will put towards those two things. This is the same things I did when I was 16-21 (high school and college). At 30 years old, things are no cheaper than they were and I have a plethora of other financial responsibilities, so this is a FRUGAL way to enjoy my expensive hobby. FRUGAL. That word doesn't sit well with 'entitled' people. They don't know about living below their means. They weren't taught this valuable lesson. If they want it, they can have it, and they WILL have it. If they have to pay top dollar they will. I don't live with that m...