The (NOT SO) Skinny Girl

I've been told I'm good at this ranting thing. Well, today I need to. I have mentioned that at one point, I had a friend along with me on this journey. We confided in each other- She was at 1 year of trying, I was almost at 2. 1 year is when your Dr will start working with you about your fertility or TTC(trying to conceive) concerns. So she went to her doctor who sent her for the routine blood-work and for the ultrasound of her uterus and ovaries, and was told to start tracking her cycle more closely and time things better. She did that for 6 months. On the 6th month- these are her words straight to my ears- she got frustrated, stopped thinking about it and "trying". That was the month they nailed it. Apparently, that makes her a 'getting pregnant guru'. She called me to tell me, texted me a pic of the ultrasound. Invited me over for the gender reveal. Of course I tried to be supportive and happy for her. It was kind of a kick in the uterus the way that ...

I guess I'm at that age now where people are settling down (LATE 20's, early 30's) and thinking about/trying to/ actually procreating.  It's funny to think there's an appropriate age to do this.  Fast Fact: The female body is ready to reproduce on average between ages 8 and 12. Some as young as 4 have become mothers. Let's not talk about what possesses a male to try to impregnate a 4 year old. It's a disturbing thought for most. Imagine being a kindergartner and getting your period for the first time. Imagine just hitting the double digits and getting it, getting married off, becoming pregnant when you don't even really know whats going on it your body. These things happen in our world today. A few years ago it was a shocker if you were a "teen mom". Teen meaning under 18, probably still in high school. I remember being appalled there was a Freshman in our HS that was pregnant when I was a Junior. I didn't even have sex at this point ...

I haven't been able to keep up and post something new each day. I know I have over 600 views on my posts, so I'm glad people are reading my stuff. But sometimes living life gets in the way of doing other things- social media is one. I've had a rough few days. Everyone has them. Not feeling well Not thinking well Not sleeping well I haven't even been eating well :/ There's been a very lot on my mind and I think I will be bale to break them out into posts for you. But for those of you who have days or weeks (or even months) like the ones I've been having- chin, there's hope. there's always SOMETHING good about life. Free bagels?? Random compliments?? Making someone else laugh/smile?? Someone else who made you laugh/smile?? Saw a pretty moon?? Saw a pretty sky?? Saw a pretty person?? Puppy wagged it's tail at you?? Baby smiled at you?? Car let you go in traffic?? There's gotta be something. Find one small thing every day. Whil...

Do you ever have that instance when you have 3 or 4 fun things and they all happen to fall on the same day (or weekend)? example:  -your friend is visiting from out of state (with their new baby) -your girl friend's bachelorette party (out of state) -Your friend from college is having a "1st annual event" down the shore, so many of your college buddies that you don't see often are already going.  Each one is fun in it's own way. On one hand, friends from out of state, you don't get to see them often. They just had a kid- he's cute! And they're coming your way for the whole weekend. they did kinda plan this last minute (2 weeks before??) On the other, your really good girlfriend (I mean hell, you made centerpieces for her bridal shower and she made a speech about you... you guys are TIGHT) is having her bachelorette party out of town that same weekend. Last minute as well (less than 2 weeks before??) On the 3rd hand- you RSVP'd a month ago...

So there's a video on facebook (  https://www.facebook.com/attn/videos/1079636055405186/ ) That I saw and it really made me think.   After graduation and well into their 20s and 30s, many of today’s millennials continue to live childishly, so much so that the idea of behaving like an adult has become a joke with its own hashtag: #adulting. Per Urban Dictionary (because that's the only place to find definitions for stupid made up words- like BAE) Adulting   (v): to do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as, a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grown ups. Doing something grown-up and responsible (**MY FAVORITE**)  Being a responsible adult. Used by immature 20-somethings who are proud of themselves for paying a bill. Most appropriately:  Adulting (v): to carry out one or more of the duties and responsibilities expected of fully developed individuals (paying off that credit card debt, settling bee...

Let's talk about discrimination. Let's talk about judgement. Let's talk about HATE. I am white, female, Christian, American, Catholic, short, loud, outgoing, fun, cute, educated, loving. I have big hopes and dreams, I have educated and yet provocative thoughts and outlooks. I have swagger, I have style, I have a personality. I feel the HATE more than the love. I see how people look at me, I have heard how they perceive me. I have felt the sting of discrimination.  And yet there are so many people out there who would never believe that I too have felt singled out for my thoughts/beliefs/actions/being. To some, I'm as normal as it gets. To some, I stick out like a sore thumb. To some, I blend in or am "tolerable". To some, I stand out or "should be avoided at all costs". Sometimes I feel like people look at me and think I'd be a bad influence. And sometimes I feel like people want to be me. In today's day and age, you have to be a her...

I took my horses for a gallop out in the field yesterday because clearly they are frustrated with their training (trotting in the dusty ring for 40 minutes to build muscle tone). They got a kick out of it!  :)  literally- kicking up their heels and ears perked. Some times monotony is a mind killer in horses. Sometimes they just need to "horse" more and "human" less. But ya know what? I AM FRUSTRATED. I am sick of doing the same thing every day. Of waking up and knowing exactly what I will do at exactly what time-  and finding no surprises in my everyday life. I want to "human" more. I feel like a machine. I am going  through  motions: 7 am alarm.  Husband calls between 7:10 and 7:20 to make sure I'm up for the day.  Get up.  Poop.    (Threw that in there for the laugh effect.) Eat.  Walk dog.  Prep lunch & dinner.  Get dressed (including doing hair).  Pack riding bag. Commute.  Sit at desk...