The (NOT SO) Skinny Girl

One of the things my psychologist noted about me is that I don't say the nicest things... to myself.  I would say things like "I'm a chicken without a head", "I'm scatterbrained", "I'm so dumb", "You probably think I'm crazy/psycho".  She asked me if I do this a lot. Truth is, yeah- all the time. You know how in 'Babe' the farmer guy says "That'll do, pig", and he means it as the highest compliment? I have said it to myself while looking in the mirror getting ready for work. I say it with this face 😕. Not quite a compliment. Even the title of my blog is a backhanded compliment... "not so skinny Jazzy". Yeah, people who weigh more than me think I'm skinny. I sure don't! Apparently, it's not that horrendous of a realization to not be able to fit into your wedding dress 2 years later. Because 2 years and 30lbs= happily married?! This is seriously a conversion I had. This is serious...

So it's interesting that the name of this blog is "Not so Skinny Jazzy". I immediately regretted that when I posted my first non-weight loss inspired post. I literally just counted - out of 175 entries, about 13 are about weight loss. Pretty much the first 13 that were written in the 30 days I was doing the strict 30 days of the Isagenix diet. And I look at myself and realize I will have to start that strict 30 again. I will have to start dieting and exercising at least moderately. Since I first started this blog, I have blown up like a balloon. I have never weighed so much in my life, not even with freshman 15 and a fetus inside me. I weigh 145lbs. My "happy weight" (based on BMI) is like 122. Let me interject here- this is exactly why I call myself "not so skinny Jazzy".... There are some people who would say "I wish I weighed 145lbs" and scoff at me and make me feel bad for my feelings. My own family has done this throughout the years. A...