The (NOT SO) Skinny Girl

I have joined so many "Mom's Groups" on Facebook since my daughter was born, and I get recommendations every day of another one to join, and another article to read, and another activity to try... the list goes on and on. 'Read this, do this, don't do that'... all with the intention of 'not screwing up the kid'. The anxiety I get from all of this, from being bombarded both face to face and through the screen, is almost unbearable. And I once worked in both a fast paced office environment and an animal hospital. The anxiety I get about keeping my own kid alive and 'not screwing it up' is overwhelming and keeps me up at night. I wish I had blogged about this every step of the way, but anxiety feeds depression and depression is a dank and ugly little hole that's hard to climb out of. But, here I am. Today I'd just like to touch on one teeny tiny little aspect of momming. It's about talking to your child. I was shown a chart of thing

When you are pregnant, everyone realizes- KNOWS- that you are giving up your body for another. Your body will change. You will probably gain weight, lose bone density, gain longer more luxurious locks, and lose your abs.Your whole shape may change, with wider hips and bigger (often saggier) boobs. But post birth, your body doesn't just snap back. It takes weeks, months, YEARS. Not just for your tummy, but your hips area, your boob area, your back, your ankles. Immediately, I felt the pain of the epidural. It's 10.5 months down the road, and sometimes I still do. It's getting much better. It was pretty bad for the first 6 months. My back hurt all the time as I hunched over, breastfeeding. As I bent to lift the carrier or a sock off the ground.  After 2 months, my scar was healed, but it was far from gone. It was(is) still slightly red, a glaring reminder that they cut me to save my baby. I could still feel it up until probably 6 months.  My feet were swollen for 3 wee

I am reminded on  International Women's Day that I am a woman, and that that is something that is a force to be reckoned with. I am reminded by Hillary Clinton, Ashley Judd and countless other feminists that being a woman is a bold, brazen (nasty?), and strong thing to be.  I just want to take a moment now to count down the times I truly felt like a strong woman. When I learned to throw, hit, and catch like a girl. When I put pen to paper and drew a detailed picture or wrote a moving poem. When I made it onto the honor and high honor roll (the first time and every time) The first time I rode a horse- and every single time after. When I won my first blue ribbon. When I fall off, and get back on. Also, when I realize it's ok to not get back on right away. The first time I decided I had to be strong for someone else. Even though I was dying inside. When I earned my Girl Scout Silver award. When I learned to drive a stick shift. And every time I get to drive one. When I

So, I have now been a mom for 6 months and about 2 weeks. I have felt guilt during most of those 6 months. Definitely once a day, from multiple sources. I think you could call me in particular a Xennial mom. Xennials (also known as the Oregon Trail Generation and Generation Catalano) are the micro-generation of people on the cusp of the Generation X and Millennial demographic cohorts, typically born between the late 1970s and early 1980s. Xennials are described as having had an analog childhood and a digital adulthood. That being said, I also find that Xennial moms fall right in between the lines in regards to whats acceptable for momming. What do I mean? Let me paint a broad picture. Most Xennials have a higher form of education under their belt- at least an Associates, most a Bachelor's, many a Masters or PHD, etc. Most Xennials are still paying off student loan debt. Most Xennials work one full time job, many have second jobs or "side hustles". Many Xennials ar