The (NOT SO) Skinny Girl

Have you ever had a secret that you were just dying to tell?? Usually it's a happy one that kills you from inside... something like a surprise for a loved one, or something you know someone will be proud of you for, exciting news in your life, maybe something that will totally change your and your loved ones lives. I've had many secrets over the years. Things being "hush hush" was just a way of life for me. I wasn't supposed to tell people I used to live with my aunt. I wasn't supposed to tell people that I had an 'other mom'. I wasn't supposed to tell people my mom hit me or pulled my hair. I wasn't supposed to tell people why I was grounded again, why I couldn't come out of my room or do things with my friends. I wasn't supposed to tell people how I felt about my other mom. I wasn't supposed to tell people about the court proceedings involving my other mom. I wasn't supposed to reach out to the family members of my o...

Let's go back, back, waaaaaaaaay back to when I was a kid. When I was in 1st grade the school told my mother I probably had ADHD and should get tested and take medication to control it. My mother said I was just being a kid and she didn't medicate "kids being kids". Fair enough. However, I had this weird relationship with my mother where if she couldn't keep me quiet in front of the TV, she packed me away in my room as punishment for being too rowdy. I found out years later that it is actually called "emotional abuse" and it had been going on since my sister had been born in 1990. When I was in middle/ high school I started "feeling" anxiety. Every adolescent does. Being pretty or not, being popular or not, getting good grades, dealing with hormones. I had been made fun of since 2nd grade, and it had only gotten worse as I grew up. In 7th grade, I brought home my first C on my report card. Pre- Algebra. I still, to this day, hate everythin...

Spoiler alert, this is gonna be a really selfish sounding rant. So May is  Mental Health Awareness Month. So, to be aware- that means to understand mental health and thus to have sympathy and compassion for those who suffer. Mental health seems to be the most taboo subject out there. Unless you have a severe retardation, "normal" people don't discuss their mental health. And they are less likely to seek treatment. Most suicides are traced back to some sort of mental health issue.... Depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bi-polar, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. A disorder is a condition characterized by lack of normal functioning of physical or mental processes... so basically it's a lack of being normal? If you actually think about it- the mind is a beautiful and frightening place all at the same time- It's complex. People have gone mad trying to figure it out. And then you add feelings, this thing people call "a heart" t...

Per  Prof. Thomas Gilovich: Want Happiness? Buy Experiences, Not Things Experiences become a part of our identity.  We are not our possessions, but we  are  the accumulation of everything we’ve seen, the things we’ve done, and the places we’ve been. Buying an Apple Watch isn’t going to change who you are; taking a break from work to hike the Appalachian Trail from start to finish most certainly will. “Our experiences are a bigger part of ourselves than our material goods,” said Gilovich. "You can really like your material stuff. You can even think that part of your identity is connected to those things, but nonetheless, they remain separate from you. In contrast, your experiences really are part of you. We are the sum total of our experiences." This weekend, for $320, I bought myself an experience and a skill. I took the  Basic Rider Course offered by Motorcycle Riding Centers, Inc. Link to their site:   https://theridingcenter.com/ I got my permit som...