So it's interesting that the name of this blog is "Not so Skinny Jazzy". I immediately regretted that when I posted my first non-weight loss inspired post. I literally just counted - out of 175 entries, about 13 are about weight loss. Pretty much the first 13 that were written in the 30 days I was doing the strict 30 days of the Isagenix diet.
And I look at myself and realize I will have to start that strict 30 again. I will have to start dieting and exercising at least moderately. Since I first started this blog, I have blown up like a balloon. I have never weighed so much in my life, not even with freshman 15 and a fetus inside me. I weigh 145lbs. My "happy weight" (based on BMI) is like 122.
Let me interject here- this is exactly why I call myself "not so skinny Jazzy".... There are some people who would say "I wish I weighed 145lbs" and scoff at me and make me feel bad for my feelings. My own family has done this throughout the years. At one point in my life, I weighed 112 pounds and still had an unsightly belly pouch...why? Because I was not taking the time to work on problem areas. I just wasn't eating in general. I didn't look good. I felt good- sometimes. Sometimes I looked at that pouch and just hated my body. It's all about perception. Self-perception is often the most detrimental. Add to your foundation of self-perception all the comments from peers- friends, family, spouse- people that you trust and you respect them and their opinions. Now you have dangerous beast roaring in your face. Plenty of people have become bulimic, anorexic, or grossly obese just because of these two things. Recap:
#1 Negative self-perception
#2 Negative personal environment
Not sure if you noticed, but those two things are actually things you have complete control over.
SELF-perception. PERSONAL environment. PLEASE- Don't blame other people for your feelings or the emotional and physical outcome of those feelings. I know that I choose to curl up on the couch and cry, eat cookies, and drink wine instead of going for a jog WAY too many times- and that that is what lead me to the dark place I am at. Blaming others allows you to stay sitting on the couch, mindlessly munching on those snacks. It is a vicious cycle. Only when you take responsibility and take control of your situation can you begin to make the change.
This morning, it took me almost an hour to find an outfit. I picked out lots of nice stuff from my closet and drawers, and I tried most of it on. Everything that didn't fit or didn't make me feel good is now in a pile on my floor. Pants, skirts, shirts. The end result was frustration, depression, and a feeling of defeat. I was not happy with the outfit I settled on, I was not happy with the lumps and bumps I could see (even though I'm wearing Spanx), I was not happy with my double chin when I tried to smile. Even nicely blown out hair and a little makeup couldn't save the day.
The thoughts ran through my head- I could starve myself. I could throw up when I eat something I shouldn't. I could.... What stupid thoughts.
How about- I could walk every day at lunch, and maybe start to JOG. I could get up off the couch at 10 each night and go for the nightly walk with my husband and dog. I could wake up earlier in the morning and take a longer walk with my dog, and maybe start to JOG. My physical activity is at an all-time minimum lately. Even though I ride a horse 3 days a week, I have gained weight since I started this new routine. Input and output are not equal, not even close. I need to stop shoveling free food in my mouth and start focusing on quality food. Better food costs more money, takes longer to prepare, or even comes from a store that is farther away. But SOMETHING has to be done. MY CLOTHES DO NOT FIT. I have beautiful clothes that I invested time and money in. Either I invest time and money into new, bigger clothes- or I invest time and money into fitness and nutrition.
Lots of people struggle with weight. Like me, most people struggle to MAINTAIN a happy, healthy weight. MAINETNEANCE... why is that always last thing on people's minds? Maintenance of house, car, marriage, health. Maintenance, in the long run, saves you time and money no matter what it is in reference too. Dedicate your resources(time and money) to things that matter the most to you. You health should be high on that list!
And I look at myself and realize I will have to start that strict 30 again. I will have to start dieting and exercising at least moderately. Since I first started this blog, I have blown up like a balloon. I have never weighed so much in my life, not even with freshman 15 and a fetus inside me. I weigh 145lbs. My "happy weight" (based on BMI) is like 122.
Let me interject here- this is exactly why I call myself "not so skinny Jazzy".... There are some people who would say "I wish I weighed 145lbs" and scoff at me and make me feel bad for my feelings. My own family has done this throughout the years. At one point in my life, I weighed 112 pounds and still had an unsightly belly pouch...why? Because I was not taking the time to work on problem areas. I just wasn't eating in general. I didn't look good. I felt good- sometimes. Sometimes I looked at that pouch and just hated my body. It's all about perception. Self-perception is often the most detrimental. Add to your foundation of self-perception all the comments from peers- friends, family, spouse- people that you trust and you respect them and their opinions. Now you have dangerous beast roaring in your face. Plenty of people have become bulimic, anorexic, or grossly obese just because of these two things. Recap:
#1 Negative self-perception
#2 Negative personal environment
Not sure if you noticed, but those two things are actually things you have complete control over.
SELF-perception. PERSONAL environment. PLEASE- Don't blame other people for your feelings or the emotional and physical outcome of those feelings. I know that I choose to curl up on the couch and cry, eat cookies, and drink wine instead of going for a jog WAY too many times- and that that is what lead me to the dark place I am at. Blaming others allows you to stay sitting on the couch, mindlessly munching on those snacks. It is a vicious cycle. Only when you take responsibility and take control of your situation can you begin to make the change.
This morning, it took me almost an hour to find an outfit. I picked out lots of nice stuff from my closet and drawers, and I tried most of it on. Everything that didn't fit or didn't make me feel good is now in a pile on my floor. Pants, skirts, shirts. The end result was frustration, depression, and a feeling of defeat. I was not happy with the outfit I settled on, I was not happy with the lumps and bumps I could see (even though I'm wearing Spanx), I was not happy with my double chin when I tried to smile. Even nicely blown out hair and a little makeup couldn't save the day.
The thoughts ran through my head- I could starve myself. I could throw up when I eat something I shouldn't. I could.... What stupid thoughts.
How about- I could walk every day at lunch, and maybe start to JOG. I could get up off the couch at 10 each night and go for the nightly walk with my husband and dog. I could wake up earlier in the morning and take a longer walk with my dog, and maybe start to JOG. My physical activity is at an all-time minimum lately. Even though I ride a horse 3 days a week, I have gained weight since I started this new routine. Input and output are not equal, not even close. I need to stop shoveling free food in my mouth and start focusing on quality food. Better food costs more money, takes longer to prepare, or even comes from a store that is farther away. But SOMETHING has to be done. MY CLOTHES DO NOT FIT. I have beautiful clothes that I invested time and money in. Either I invest time and money into new, bigger clothes- or I invest time and money into fitness and nutrition.
Lots of people struggle with weight. Like me, most people struggle to MAINTAIN a happy, healthy weight. MAINETNEANCE... why is that always last thing on people's minds? Maintenance of house, car, marriage, health. Maintenance, in the long run, saves you time and money no matter what it is in reference too. Dedicate your resources(time and money) to things that matter the most to you. You health should be high on that list!
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