One of the things my psychologist noted about me is that I don't say the nicest things... to myself.
I would say things like "I'm a chicken without a head", "I'm scatterbrained", "I'm so dumb", "You probably think I'm crazy/psycho".
She asked me if I do this a lot. Truth is, yeah- all the time. You know how in 'Babe' the farmer guy says "That'll do, pig", and he means it as the highest compliment? I have said it to myself while looking in the mirror getting ready for work. I say it with this face 😕. Not quite a compliment.
Even the title of my blog is a backhanded compliment... "not so skinny Jazzy". Yeah, people who weigh more than me think I'm skinny. I sure don't! Apparently, it's not that horrendous of a realization to not be able to fit into your wedding dress 2 years later. Because 2 years and 30lbs= happily married?! This is seriously a conversion I had. This is seriously something that bothers me. And there are people who seriously act like it shouldn't bother me. Like it's "not that bad".
I didn't want to make this a post about weight loss/gain/obesity. But a quick side note- it's this mentality that gaining 30lbs across 2 years is "not that bad" that results in 600lb blobs rolling around.
But my counselor picked up on my self-abusive mentality pretty quickly. She told me to stop saying such nasty things to myself. She told me to recognize when I put myself down, and why. And she had a feeling I sure didn't talk to other people like this. I have glowing reviews of my husband, my good friends, my in-laws, my horse, my dog... you get the idea. She told me that for every put down I should say something positive to counteract it. That I should start viewing myself as more than a mediocre human being. That I should treat myself as I treat others, and even praise myself sometimes- something as little as laying down at night and naming 3 good things about the day, as little as correcting a negative thought about myself with a positive one.
My mental state about MYSELF needed a reboot. It was time for me to "treat yo self"... right. Nicely. Kindly. Positively.
I would say things like "I'm a chicken without a head", "I'm scatterbrained", "I'm so dumb", "You probably think I'm crazy/psycho".
She asked me if I do this a lot. Truth is, yeah- all the time. You know how in 'Babe' the farmer guy says "That'll do, pig", and he means it as the highest compliment? I have said it to myself while looking in the mirror getting ready for work. I say it with this face 😕. Not quite a compliment.
Even the title of my blog is a backhanded compliment... "not so skinny Jazzy". Yeah, people who weigh more than me think I'm skinny. I sure don't! Apparently, it's not that horrendous of a realization to not be able to fit into your wedding dress 2 years later. Because 2 years and 30lbs= happily married?! This is seriously a conversion I had. This is seriously something that bothers me. And there are people who seriously act like it shouldn't bother me. Like it's "not that bad".
I didn't want to make this a post about weight loss/gain/obesity. But a quick side note- it's this mentality that gaining 30lbs across 2 years is "not that bad" that results in 600lb blobs rolling around.
JUST SAYING
But my counselor picked up on my self-abusive mentality pretty quickly. She told me to stop saying such nasty things to myself. She told me to recognize when I put myself down, and why. And she had a feeling I sure didn't talk to other people like this. I have glowing reviews of my husband, my good friends, my in-laws, my horse, my dog... you get the idea. She told me that for every put down I should say something positive to counteract it. That I should start viewing myself as more than a mediocre human being. That I should treat myself as I treat others, and even praise myself sometimes- something as little as laying down at night and naming 3 good things about the day, as little as correcting a negative thought about myself with a positive one.
My mental state about MYSELF needed a reboot. It was time for me to "treat yo self"... right. Nicely. Kindly. Positively.
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