The (NOT SO) Skinny Girl

10/30/17 I drive 2 hours through east bumblefuck, to emerge in a city I've only ever heard of. I follow the directions I found via Google because no one called to confirm my appointment. They probably didn't because I called them back a week after making the appointment to see if their were any cancellations and if I could move it up- I was in luck and successful in that. We moved it from the Friday to the Monday. Anyway, the directions bring me to the wrong place. WTF I was early for once! I frantically call and get the correct address. I show up and they say they have a ton of paperwork for me to fill out and I'm late. I calmly reply that the address listed online is incorrect and I called 5 minutes ago asking for the address as I stood at the other building. They lament that it's been 6 months since they've moved and it's still not updated. I tell them before I sit to fill out my paperwork that if they give me the fax number, I'll have the records sent...

I've been struggling with infertility for almost 2 years now. Hanging around with people who are deciding when to have their second or third child is really wearing me down right now. I've been struggling with depression for over a year now. Money issues, infertility, career struggles, anxiety, normal marital issues... all contribute to my depression. All contributed to night terrors and panic attacks.... all contributed to suicidal thoughts. Suicidal thoughts led me to seek help. I've been struggling, I've been working hard to pull myself out of the emotional hole I was living in. The fall was not quick, it was one thing after another pushing me down, down, deeper. The upward battle was a crawl at best. But there were road blocks. The biggest road block was not knowing what path I wanted to take. The biggest set back was knowing I wan't happy with many aspects of my life, and not working on the BIGGEST ones. The little baby steps I took, they were barely notic...

I'm not sure if I ever mentioned that we "waited" to conceive during certain parts of our journey? We got married in June 2015. I had been off birth control a few months and we had not used condoms in years. Technically, we were not 'trying' right after we got married- we had two months until our honeymoon and I was afraid of morning sickness and not being able to enjoy ourselves in Slovakia, Poland, and Italy... especially the wonderful wine... So we didn't actively try until we touched down in Italy, our beautiful, wonderful adventure of a honeymoon. At that point, I didn't know much about my cycle and my ovulation days and what not. We came home, I got my period, and reports of "we're pregnant" started pouring in immediately. A couple who got married a week after us got pregnant immediately, a couple who got married in September got pregnant immediately, two couples who had been married a few years let us know they were pregnant- one with...

There is EVIL in this world. There is no situational ethics involved here... it is not comprehensible what leads people to this kind of evil. Since the beginning of time, there have been bad people doing bad things because EVIL lives among us. It is part of the world, in equality with the parts of LOVE and GOODNESS. 58 people(do not count the vile creature that did this) lost their lives while trying to enjoy themselves- while relaxing, having fun... and less than an hour after joining together as a crowd to sing "GOD BLESS AMERICA". I was appalled, I was sick to my stomach, I was panicked, I was sad, I was angry. I am 2,555 miles away from this tragedy. Every side in America cares deeply about the lives lost in this tragedy, we just have different solutions to this kind of ...thing. This kind of event. This kind of horrible, tragic disaster. We all care about what happened in Vegas- we all just disagree about the policy. The 2nd amendment, when writte...