I have a new idea for a video.
While I was cleaning stalls at the barn I ride at, I realized that I have certain qualities that the next generation will never have.
If someone asked why am I 30 years old cleaning stalls like I did when I was 16... the answer is because it's humbling work and I am working off things that I want. I am working so that I can get free lessons or free trailering to shows- or money which I will put towards those two things. This is the same things I did when I was 16-21 (high school and college). At 30 years old, things are no cheaper than they were and I have a plethora of other financial responsibilities, so this is a FRUGAL way to enjoy my expensive hobby.
FRUGAL. That word doesn't sit well with 'entitled' people. They don't know about living below their means. They weren't taught this valuable lesson. If they want it, they can have it, and they WILL have it. If they have to pay top dollar they will. I don't live with that mindset- I don't think I ever will. Not with a million dollars in the bank, not with one hundred dollars in the bank. It's not because I'm not special and I don't deserve the finer things in life.... It's that I know the value of everything in life and the difference between necessity and frivolity, need and want.
I know the value of things... including hard work, dedication, teamwork, perseverance, and pushing myself. Which brings me to what I was thinking about while 'mucking' stalls for $8/hr on a lovely Saturday morning...
Apparently, kids sports are not structured like they used to be. There are less recreational teams and more "travel" or elite teams. Elite because you either try out or pay lots of money to participate. Worse than that, if there is a RECREATIONAL team, they do not play by the actual rules of the games. In baseball- there are no outs, they don't keep score, you swing until you hit it, and they bat around the order for each team. Now that's fine for very very young children to teach them the basics of the game- but when does that stop? Everyone wins, everyone gets a trophy, and no one learns how to handle being a loser. Parents are even complaining about high school teams having tryouts and making cuts. Now, I am not a parent. BUT. I was the best bench warmer there was. At 5 foot and a little, I'm no Michael Jordan- but I enjoyed playing basketball. When I was in middle school/junior high (whatever you call it) I either played on the town rec team for my age, or I played for the school team. they didn't make cuts. I was a decent player then, and if I didn't start, I at least played half the game. then came high school. I tired out. I realize now that I got lucky... Either enough people dropped out of the rigorous pre-season double sessions or there were exactly the amount allowed on the roster that showed up to try out. I made the freshman squad. I knew people were better than me. I knew I'd have to try harder. Run faster. Shoot straighter. I practiced hard every day. I suited up (#1, go figure) every game. I talked my mom into getting me basketball sneakers like everyone else had, instead of regular sneakers. I got a sweatshirt when they sold them and wore it during warm-ups and on the bus and around the halls. I sat the bench a lot. I handed water to my teammates. I cheered them on. I cheered every shot that went in, I groaned at every foul, I knew where the ball was going when coach called the play to the point guard. I high-fived people as they came off, I high fived when we won, I smiled and said good game to the other team. I played a few minutes in a few games the whole season. But what I gained was so very valuable. I learned that TEAM does not have I in it- and organized sports are about being the best and showcasing it, and yes- they are about winning. No one wants to see a game that ends in a draw, no matter how well fought it was. I learned that I had a role. Everyone on the team has a role. Even if you are not passing the ball or putting up points... cheering on your teammates by name and making sure people are hydrated and giving them someone to practice against- it's all important.
I tried out for the JV squad too. I sat the bench even more. I learned even more lessons. I learned that the girl who missed all her shots and didn't go into the locker room at halftime for a break and a pep talk but instead spent it taking those shots a hundred more times didn't make herself any better. That girl thought she was the team and that her inability to make key shots was the only thing that mattered. She didn't pass the ball, she hogged it. She thought she had to make-up for what she was lacking that day- and the whole team suffered. The loss wasn't because she didn't make shots, the loss was because she didn't let her team make up for it. She focused on herself and thus let them all down. I learned that people who were better than me played more time than me. I learned that I could make a 3 point shot 1 in 100 attempts and that when I finally did it- everyone cheered. I learned that people knew I was trying- but that trying and failing happens. I played minutes of exactly 2 games that year.
After all that I had learned... The biggest thing I learned was that I was alright at it, but not great. I needed to let people who were better than me do their thing, and I had to "do me". I don't consider it quitting- rather, gracefully bowing out. Knowing my own limitations and not holding everyone else back. The team was great while I was in high school. I enjoyed being part of it. Other people were better at it than me. So I found and focused on what I was better at... art, Community service, writing, riding my horses.
As a senior, I won one local scholarship. I almost shit myself when it was from the basketball booster club. I beat out every girl in my graduating class who applied for it. They were stunned. That scholarship wasn't given out based on who scored the most points. It was given out based on academics a500-word word essay about why I enjoyed basketball and how it shaped the person I am. And boy oh boy, if I can make a free throw I can write 10x better. After winning that award, I also won the contest to be the student keynote speaker at our graduation. I guess focusing on my writing strength and letting basketball be a recreational thing was a smart move.
I still shot hoops around occasionally. But I write (hello blog fans!) and ride way more. It's a priority. I know I'm not good at everything I have tried to do-- but DAMNIT I'm awesome at some things.
Parents shouldn't force their kids to be accepted at things they may or may not be good at. Kids will end up hating themselves for not being good enough. Parents should help kids find things they enjoy and cultivate those into things they are good at.
Sports should not become wishy-washy. What's that saying... "there's no crying in baseball"? There are 3 outs, there's safe or out, there's such thing as a swing and a miss, and there are winners and losers. You can't win them all- but you can always give it your best shot.
Set your kids- the next generation- up for success... which includes letting them know defeat, failure, heartbreak, hurt. One day when they don't get the promotion, will they try to blame someone and say it's not fair because I'm not [male, white, rich, pretty]__________.You can only protect them so much. But blowing smoke up their asses and altering reality so it doesn't hurt their feelings doesn't help ANYONE.
While I was cleaning stalls at the barn I ride at, I realized that I have certain qualities that the next generation will never have.
If someone asked why am I 30 years old cleaning stalls like I did when I was 16... the answer is because it's humbling work and I am working off things that I want. I am working so that I can get free lessons or free trailering to shows- or money which I will put towards those two things. This is the same things I did when I was 16-21 (high school and college). At 30 years old, things are no cheaper than they were and I have a plethora of other financial responsibilities, so this is a FRUGAL way to enjoy my expensive hobby.
FRUGAL. That word doesn't sit well with 'entitled' people. They don't know about living below their means. They weren't taught this valuable lesson. If they want it, they can have it, and they WILL have it. If they have to pay top dollar they will. I don't live with that mindset- I don't think I ever will. Not with a million dollars in the bank, not with one hundred dollars in the bank. It's not because I'm not special and I don't deserve the finer things in life.... It's that I know the value of everything in life and the difference between necessity and frivolity, need and want.
I know the value of things... including hard work, dedication, teamwork, perseverance, and pushing myself. Which brings me to what I was thinking about while 'mucking' stalls for $8/hr on a lovely Saturday morning...
Apparently, kids sports are not structured like they used to be. There are less recreational teams and more "travel" or elite teams. Elite because you either try out or pay lots of money to participate. Worse than that, if there is a RECREATIONAL team, they do not play by the actual rules of the games. In baseball- there are no outs, they don't keep score, you swing until you hit it, and they bat around the order for each team. Now that's fine for very very young children to teach them the basics of the game- but when does that stop? Everyone wins, everyone gets a trophy, and no one learns how to handle being a loser. Parents are even complaining about high school teams having tryouts and making cuts. Now, I am not a parent. BUT. I was the best bench warmer there was. At 5 foot and a little, I'm no Michael Jordan- but I enjoyed playing basketball. When I was in middle school/junior high (whatever you call it) I either played on the town rec team for my age, or I played for the school team. they didn't make cuts. I was a decent player then, and if I didn't start, I at least played half the game. then came high school. I tired out. I realize now that I got lucky... Either enough people dropped out of the rigorous pre-season double sessions or there were exactly the amount allowed on the roster that showed up to try out. I made the freshman squad. I knew people were better than me. I knew I'd have to try harder. Run faster. Shoot straighter. I practiced hard every day. I suited up (#1, go figure) every game. I talked my mom into getting me basketball sneakers like everyone else had, instead of regular sneakers. I got a sweatshirt when they sold them and wore it during warm-ups and on the bus and around the halls. I sat the bench a lot. I handed water to my teammates. I cheered them on. I cheered every shot that went in, I groaned at every foul, I knew where the ball was going when coach called the play to the point guard. I high-fived people as they came off, I high fived when we won, I smiled and said good game to the other team. I played a few minutes in a few games the whole season. But what I gained was so very valuable. I learned that TEAM does not have I in it- and organized sports are about being the best and showcasing it, and yes- they are about winning. No one wants to see a game that ends in a draw, no matter how well fought it was. I learned that I had a role. Everyone on the team has a role. Even if you are not passing the ball or putting up points... cheering on your teammates by name and making sure people are hydrated and giving them someone to practice against- it's all important.
I tried out for the JV squad too. I sat the bench even more. I learned even more lessons. I learned that the girl who missed all her shots and didn't go into the locker room at halftime for a break and a pep talk but instead spent it taking those shots a hundred more times didn't make herself any better. That girl thought she was the team and that her inability to make key shots was the only thing that mattered. She didn't pass the ball, she hogged it. She thought she had to make-up for what she was lacking that day- and the whole team suffered. The loss wasn't because she didn't make shots, the loss was because she didn't let her team make up for it. She focused on herself and thus let them all down. I learned that people who were better than me played more time than me. I learned that I could make a 3 point shot 1 in 100 attempts and that when I finally did it- everyone cheered. I learned that people knew I was trying- but that trying and failing happens. I played minutes of exactly 2 games that year.
After all that I had learned... The biggest thing I learned was that I was alright at it, but not great. I needed to let people who were better than me do their thing, and I had to "do me". I don't consider it quitting- rather, gracefully bowing out. Knowing my own limitations and not holding everyone else back. The team was great while I was in high school. I enjoyed being part of it. Other people were better at it than me. So I found and focused on what I was better at... art, Community service, writing, riding my horses.
As a senior, I won one local scholarship. I almost shit myself when it was from the basketball booster club. I beat out every girl in my graduating class who applied for it. They were stunned. That scholarship wasn't given out based on who scored the most points. It was given out based on academics a500-word word essay about why I enjoyed basketball and how it shaped the person I am. And boy oh boy, if I can make a free throw I can write 10x better. After winning that award, I also won the contest to be the student keynote speaker at our graduation. I guess focusing on my writing strength and letting basketball be a recreational thing was a smart move.
I still shot hoops around occasionally. But I write (hello blog fans!) and ride way more. It's a priority. I know I'm not good at everything I have tried to do-- but DAMNIT I'm awesome at some things.
Parents shouldn't force their kids to be accepted at things they may or may not be good at. Kids will end up hating themselves for not being good enough. Parents should help kids find things they enjoy and cultivate those into things they are good at.
Sports should not become wishy-washy. What's that saying... "there's no crying in baseball"? There are 3 outs, there's safe or out, there's such thing as a swing and a miss, and there are winners and losers. You can't win them all- but you can always give it your best shot.
Set your kids- the next generation- up for success... which includes letting them know defeat, failure, heartbreak, hurt. One day when they don't get the promotion, will they try to blame someone and say it's not fair because I'm not [male, white, rich, pretty]__________.You can only protect them so much. But blowing smoke up their asses and altering reality so it doesn't hurt their feelings doesn't help ANYONE.
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