I had told my husband- after being invited to many of them and seeing more than 'a few' on social media - that I didn't want to have a gender reveal. To me, it's stupid. Being invited to one, I'm like "Do we bring a gift?" or "How does this work?" I think that after being pregnant, I have a better grasp on them and a more solid opinion of them.
For my first child, we decided to hold off on a few things. We didn't do the 14 week blood test that would 100% tell us the gender, because it would also tell us a slew of other genetic information (such as if it had Downs or other diseases) that we decided was inconsequential. We didn't find out together during the ultrasound at 20 weeks what baby was, we took home an envelope. We didn't even open that envelope together. My husband actually ran inside the house, opened it, and had it tucked away before I got inside. He HAD TO know, I didn't. I was happy with having a healthy baby growing inside of me.
He held that information- kept that secret- for 10 weeks. I won't bullshit anyone, I wondered what the baby actually was. I called it "IT" and "baby". I got yelled at a lot for calling it "IT"... apparently most of my family is not behind this gender neutral trend that's supposedly spreading like wildfire through the human race (mostly in America). "IT" is a pronoun for an inanimate object I was told, not a living growing baby. To each his own? Apparently not. But grow and grow my little "IT" did.
I started sometimes saying HE or SHE, trying them out. In my head, I envisioned a little baby boy. There were so many girls between our friends and relatives, surely the mathematics of it all gave us a bigger chance to have a boy...? Surely, the yearning deep in my heart, in my soul, for a sweet daring mama's boy was about to be dream come true? I always pictured a big brother first, then a little sister, then who cares what popped out of me- at one point in my life I wanted to have 8 kids!! This was before it took us almost 3 years to produce one baby.
We agreed early on that we would "gender reveal" at the baby shower. My husband even offered to do it all by himself. Believe me, from the moment people knew we had results the question was never ending -- "So is it a boy or a girl?". I would respond with "Well the good news is the baby is human". Not good enough for most people. Everyone began asking my husband because we told people he knew. He was a steel trap- No bribery, no baiting, no threat of bodily harm could break him.
I assumed the shower would be somewhere near my 8th month- at the point hen I could begin nesting and truly preparing for imminent arrival. I was wrong. It came at almost exactly 30 weeks- 10 weeks before baby was to arrive. It seemed too soon to me, too much time between finding out and baby in my arms. Too much time, where I could feel regret, or scared, or disappointed, or overwhelmed, or anxious. Most of those feelings are normal first-time parent feelings as arrival draws near- some of them are just my own fears.
As the party drew to a close, as we finished with opening the mountain of gifts an the coffee and mimosa's began to run dry, as the cake disappeared from my plate... I started to panic. Family and friends saw true apprehension in my face, saw fear in my eyes. I felt a panic attack coming on. I was about to know if my dreams would come true, or if my reality would be very different. An elderly family member said to me "You don't have to find out in front of all these people. You can go in the hall and find out with your hubby and take a few minutes and tell us when you are ready." That thought calmed me a bit. I am usually a person who delights in the spectacle- but today I was terrified. I didn't want to ugly cry, or show disappointment, or have raging pregnant hormones in front of a group of people who came to celebrate Baby and I.
And then my hubby walked in, and he smiled as he told me to take a seat- the seat in front of the crowd that I had opened the gifts in. I could feel my heart jump from my chest to my throat. I felt clammy, feverish, and I couldn't hear anything but him- I heard each footstep as he walked towards me and took his place next to me, in his hands a small gift bag with baby motifs. This was a present we, together, waited almost 3 years for. This was a present that would start us off on a big, beautiful new adventure together.
This was the moment. And he said- "I have always said to Jazz I would buy her a pony. Well, now I have to buy two ponies. Without further ado..." And he motioned towards me to open the bag. People were whispering "Is it twins?" "What does he mean?". I unwrapped the paper and pulled out...
A onesie that said "Born to ride horses with Mommy"...it was pink! Pink as pink could be. It's a girl!
Needless to say, again I am reminded that life doesn't always work out the way we have planned it. Gone was my dream of a little baby mama's boy, and cry I did. My sisters swooped down on me to make sure they were happy tears and to block me from view if they weren't. My husband had wanted me to jump into his arms and share the moment with him- he told me that later. But I was in shock. Almost everyone at the shower had guessed it was a boy- from the way I was carrying, to my demeanor about it, to the heart rate of the baby, to the theme. Foxes, cute clever woodland creatures apparently projected "boy" vibes. Plenty of people didn't realize I have a foxy looking doggy at home and I wanted nothing more than to have him and baby embrace each other and be besties for life. He is the cutest little furbaby ever and has been our child for the past 6 years.
I put on my happy face and we told them the name we had picked out- she would be our little baby Zara. I just kept saying "Oh Boy" as I was not prepared for life as a girl's mom... and people kept correcting me by saying "Oh Girl". Not exactly what I wanted to hear as I tried to process it all. It is much easier info to process during a hot bath, or while snuggled on the couch.
I think a gender revel might be fun to do for the 2nd or 3rd child- since you won't/shouldn't have another shower and you want to celebrate the new baby. I think for the first, I could have found out when the baby came out - in that intimate moment shared between the most important people- and been perfectly content.
For now, I am preparing for baby girl Zara, dreaming of riding ponies together and pink frilly things- OK more like animal print and rhinestones for my baby- and finding out from my husband that from the moment we started trying, he has always wanted a little Daddy's girl. It's new territory for both of us, and we are embracing this exciting ADVENTURE.
For my first child, we decided to hold off on a few things. We didn't do the 14 week blood test that would 100% tell us the gender, because it would also tell us a slew of other genetic information (such as if it had Downs or other diseases) that we decided was inconsequential. We didn't find out together during the ultrasound at 20 weeks what baby was, we took home an envelope. We didn't even open that envelope together. My husband actually ran inside the house, opened it, and had it tucked away before I got inside. He HAD TO know, I didn't. I was happy with having a healthy baby growing inside of me.
He held that information- kept that secret- for 10 weeks. I won't bullshit anyone, I wondered what the baby actually was. I called it "IT" and "baby". I got yelled at a lot for calling it "IT"... apparently most of my family is not behind this gender neutral trend that's supposedly spreading like wildfire through the human race (mostly in America). "IT" is a pronoun for an inanimate object I was told, not a living growing baby. To each his own? Apparently not. But grow and grow my little "IT" did.
I started sometimes saying HE or SHE, trying them out. In my head, I envisioned a little baby boy. There were so many girls between our friends and relatives, surely the mathematics of it all gave us a bigger chance to have a boy...? Surely, the yearning deep in my heart, in my soul, for a sweet daring mama's boy was about to be dream come true? I always pictured a big brother first, then a little sister, then who cares what popped out of me- at one point in my life I wanted to have 8 kids!! This was before it took us almost 3 years to produce one baby.
We agreed early on that we would "gender reveal" at the baby shower. My husband even offered to do it all by himself. Believe me, from the moment people knew we had results the question was never ending -- "So is it a boy or a girl?". I would respond with "Well the good news is the baby is human". Not good enough for most people. Everyone began asking my husband because we told people he knew. He was a steel trap- No bribery, no baiting, no threat of bodily harm could break him.
I assumed the shower would be somewhere near my 8th month- at the point hen I could begin nesting and truly preparing for imminent arrival. I was wrong. It came at almost exactly 30 weeks- 10 weeks before baby was to arrive. It seemed too soon to me, too much time between finding out and baby in my arms. Too much time, where I could feel regret, or scared, or disappointed, or overwhelmed, or anxious. Most of those feelings are normal first-time parent feelings as arrival draws near- some of them are just my own fears.
As the party drew to a close, as we finished with opening the mountain of gifts an the coffee and mimosa's began to run dry, as the cake disappeared from my plate... I started to panic. Family and friends saw true apprehension in my face, saw fear in my eyes. I felt a panic attack coming on. I was about to know if my dreams would come true, or if my reality would be very different. An elderly family member said to me "You don't have to find out in front of all these people. You can go in the hall and find out with your hubby and take a few minutes and tell us when you are ready." That thought calmed me a bit. I am usually a person who delights in the spectacle- but today I was terrified. I didn't want to ugly cry, or show disappointment, or have raging pregnant hormones in front of a group of people who came to celebrate Baby and I.
And then my hubby walked in, and he smiled as he told me to take a seat- the seat in front of the crowd that I had opened the gifts in. I could feel my heart jump from my chest to my throat. I felt clammy, feverish, and I couldn't hear anything but him- I heard each footstep as he walked towards me and took his place next to me, in his hands a small gift bag with baby motifs. This was a present we, together, waited almost 3 years for. This was a present that would start us off on a big, beautiful new adventure together.
This was the moment. And he said- "I have always said to Jazz I would buy her a pony. Well, now I have to buy two ponies. Without further ado..." And he motioned towards me to open the bag. People were whispering "Is it twins?" "What does he mean?". I unwrapped the paper and pulled out...
A onesie that said "Born to ride horses with Mommy"...it was pink! Pink as pink could be. It's a girl!
Needless to say, again I am reminded that life doesn't always work out the way we have planned it. Gone was my dream of a little baby mama's boy, and cry I did. My sisters swooped down on me to make sure they were happy tears and to block me from view if they weren't. My husband had wanted me to jump into his arms and share the moment with him- he told me that later. But I was in shock. Almost everyone at the shower had guessed it was a boy- from the way I was carrying, to my demeanor about it, to the heart rate of the baby, to the theme. Foxes, cute clever woodland creatures apparently projected "boy" vibes. Plenty of people didn't realize I have a foxy looking doggy at home and I wanted nothing more than to have him and baby embrace each other and be besties for life. He is the cutest little furbaby ever and has been our child for the past 6 years.
I put on my happy face and we told them the name we had picked out- she would be our little baby Zara. I just kept saying "Oh Boy" as I was not prepared for life as a girl's mom... and people kept correcting me by saying "Oh Girl". Not exactly what I wanted to hear as I tried to process it all. It is much easier info to process during a hot bath, or while snuggled on the couch.
I think a gender revel might be fun to do for the 2nd or 3rd child- since you won't/shouldn't have another shower and you want to celebrate the new baby. I think for the first, I could have found out when the baby came out - in that intimate moment shared between the most important people- and been perfectly content.
For now, I am preparing for baby girl Zara, dreaming of riding ponies together and pink frilly things- OK more like animal print and rhinestones for my baby- and finding out from my husband that from the moment we started trying, he has always wanted a little Daddy's girl. It's new territory for both of us, and we are embracing this exciting ADVENTURE.
Loved knowing about this gender reveal party. Thanks for these details. Keep sharing such posts here. We also are waiting for our first baby. We would be hosting a grand gender reveal party with all our loved ones. Would love to book the best event space San Francisco for the day.
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