I use the "Glow Fertility- ovulation/period tracker" app, I have been a 'member' of the Glow community for about 2 years now.
I have learned that there is something called the 2WW (not to be confused with WW2)- the two week wait.
So, the way I understand it is- women who are trying to conceive should wait 2 weeks after projected or confirmed ovulation to take a pregnancy test. 2 weeks. Assuming that 14 days post ovulation is time enough to see if you've gotten the deed done and if the oven's got the bun.
So this month I decided to look at my "ovulation date"- which was confirmed by a very painful ovulation- and calculate the exact # of days from that day to the day my period was due to arrive. 15 days projected, it arrived in 16 days.
All of the ladies who are looking for support during the 2WW say things like "When is it too early to test, I just can't wait the 14 days I want to know now". Multiply that by like, 100 people. Oooor, they decide f**k it and pull the trigger early and then post pics of their tests saying "Does anyone see a faint line (positive test)?? I swear I see it but help me confirm it!" It fills my community feed every month. And I'm not just part of a support community through Glow, but also 2 Infertility/TTC groups on Facebook. I've been scrolling past all of these types of community posts for 2 years now. It's exhausting!!
So then I started thinking, wondering- Why would anyone put the added stress on themselves to map out 14 days from ovulation and take a pregnancy test? In my eyes, they are prematurely testing if they haven't actually missed the period. In my eyes, they are adding one more thing to their plate to stress about. In my eyes, they have stopped living their lives and truly allowed the struggle to consume them- I mean seriously "I'm 4 days past ovulation I don't think I can wait 10 more days to find out!"... are you looking to have your heart broken sooner rather than later? And I feel bad, my heart bleeds for them, for everyone struggling with infertility. But whoever suggested that you wait with baited breath for 2 weeks, exactly 14 days and then test... SHAME ON YOU!! Shame on you for preying on already stressed and fragile women!
I thought I was consumed by the struggle when I mapped out my ovulation days, laid out the test strips and thermometer the night before. I thought I was consumed when I hid the tampons as 'Aunt Flo's' arrival date neared. I thought I was consumed as I allowed my period being one day late to send me into a tizzy of petting my belly, imagining how we were going to tell our parents, and avoiding strenuous activity. ~*And I'm crying...*~
Just this month, Aunt Flo was due on the 15th day, and when she didn't come- I was ecstatic. I started looking for symptoms: My boobs weren't sore but did they look bigger? Was my tummy bloated(a sign of period) or was I just fat? Did my cervical mucus seem to be heavier than usual- and was this a sign? No cramps- check. Good mood- check. MUST BE PREGNANCY!
And for me, when I have waited 2.5 years to be pregnant, the idea of actually being pregnant puts me in to the mode of 'preservation of the state of pregnancy'. I didn't want to lift heavy things, I didn't want to run or workout, I didn't want my husband to lay across my stomach, I didn't want to drink alcohol or coffee, I didn't want to ride my horse, I didn't want to ride my motorcycle. I didn't want to have sex because it could break the damn and release the flood gates and I was going to avoid that at ALL costs. I wanted to lay in bed or on the couch all snuggled up, holding onto my belly as if my life depended on it.
My husband would not let me test on that 1st day of 'missed period'. He said it was too soon. He said I could not stop living my life based on a "what if". He said I was going to drive myself crazy and stress myself out and THAT would be the downfall to the pregnancy. He's no doctor, but he sure does make some good points. We agreed I could test on the 3rd missed period day.
And so, on day 2...
I stopped going to the bathroom every time I felt wetness of some sort "down there". I had a huge cup of coffee. I lifted the normal heavy stuff I lift every day at work. I rode my horse, bucks and all.
I got home. I went to the bathroom to shower. And I found the very red friend I had been praying wouldn't come to visit. For the first time, I didn't cry. I researched and read up on "can you get your period and still be pregnant". The odds are not in my favor. But there is nothing I can do about it, except take a long hot shower and pop open a bottle of wine.
It's not that I am not disappointed, it's that I was at peace with it. I cannot wish and will myself to be pregnant. I cannot tiptoe through 2(+) weeks of every month thinking "but what if I'm pregnant?". I cannot imagine actually counting the days from suspected ovulation to taking a test- I don't even keep pregnancy tests in my house!! The agreement is that we will go out and buy a brandy new fresh one the day we really think it could be- instead of keeping any around that may get old and stale and become unreliable.
So the moral to the story, ladies, is: let's keep calm and live on. Let's not have our lives dictated by the struggle we are enduring. We ARE struggling, we ARE stressing, we ARE consumed- by grief, anger, longing, and so many other emotions. But the moment we get back to living, the moment we aren't living and breathing this struggle, is the moment we overcome it. Is the moment we are flooded with peace and serenity. I'm not saying "Just don't think or worry about it and it will happen"... we all know that's a terrible thing to hear! I'm saying release yourself from the stress, the anxiety, the waiting and wondering and "what ifs"... don't miss out on today, on your husband, on your friends and family, on the good things life has to offer, on the good things it IS offering you every moment of every day. Try to stop focusing on what life hasn't offered you. Try to stop focusing so much on the day of the month, the day of your cycle... There's so many of us out there who are not seeing anything positive from all the extra effort and worry and focus we are putting in.
I personally, have given up on the natural way of doing this. But that's for another time...
I have learned that there is something called the 2WW (not to be confused with WW2)- the two week wait.
So, the way I understand it is- women who are trying to conceive should wait 2 weeks after projected or confirmed ovulation to take a pregnancy test. 2 weeks. Assuming that 14 days post ovulation is time enough to see if you've gotten the deed done and if the oven's got the bun.
So this month I decided to look at my "ovulation date"- which was confirmed by a very painful ovulation- and calculate the exact # of days from that day to the day my period was due to arrive. 15 days projected, it arrived in 16 days.
All of the ladies who are looking for support during the 2WW say things like "When is it too early to test, I just can't wait the 14 days I want to know now". Multiply that by like, 100 people. Oooor, they decide f**k it and pull the trigger early and then post pics of their tests saying "Does anyone see a faint line (positive test)?? I swear I see it but help me confirm it!" It fills my community feed every month. And I'm not just part of a support community through Glow, but also 2 Infertility/TTC groups on Facebook. I've been scrolling past all of these types of community posts for 2 years now. It's exhausting!!
So then I started thinking, wondering- Why would anyone put the added stress on themselves to map out 14 days from ovulation and take a pregnancy test? In my eyes, they are prematurely testing if they haven't actually missed the period. In my eyes, they are adding one more thing to their plate to stress about. In my eyes, they have stopped living their lives and truly allowed the struggle to consume them- I mean seriously "I'm 4 days past ovulation I don't think I can wait 10 more days to find out!"... are you looking to have your heart broken sooner rather than later? And I feel bad, my heart bleeds for them, for everyone struggling with infertility. But whoever suggested that you wait with baited breath for 2 weeks, exactly 14 days and then test... SHAME ON YOU!! Shame on you for preying on already stressed and fragile women!
I thought I was consumed by the struggle when I mapped out my ovulation days, laid out the test strips and thermometer the night before. I thought I was consumed when I hid the tampons as 'Aunt Flo's' arrival date neared. I thought I was consumed as I allowed my period being one day late to send me into a tizzy of petting my belly, imagining how we were going to tell our parents, and avoiding strenuous activity. ~*And I'm crying...*~
Just this month, Aunt Flo was due on the 15th day, and when she didn't come- I was ecstatic. I started looking for symptoms: My boobs weren't sore but did they look bigger? Was my tummy bloated(a sign of period) or was I just fat? Did my cervical mucus seem to be heavier than usual- and was this a sign? No cramps- check. Good mood- check. MUST BE PREGNANCY!
And for me, when I have waited 2.5 years to be pregnant, the idea of actually being pregnant puts me in to the mode of 'preservation of the state of pregnancy'. I didn't want to lift heavy things, I didn't want to run or workout, I didn't want my husband to lay across my stomach, I didn't want to drink alcohol or coffee, I didn't want to ride my horse, I didn't want to ride my motorcycle. I didn't want to have sex because it could break the damn and release the flood gates and I was going to avoid that at ALL costs. I wanted to lay in bed or on the couch all snuggled up, holding onto my belly as if my life depended on it.
My husband would not let me test on that 1st day of 'missed period'. He said it was too soon. He said I could not stop living my life based on a "what if". He said I was going to drive myself crazy and stress myself out and THAT would be the downfall to the pregnancy. He's no doctor, but he sure does make some good points. We agreed I could test on the 3rd missed period day.
And so, on day 2...
I stopped going to the bathroom every time I felt wetness of some sort "down there". I had a huge cup of coffee. I lifted the normal heavy stuff I lift every day at work. I rode my horse, bucks and all.
I got home. I went to the bathroom to shower. And I found the very red friend I had been praying wouldn't come to visit. For the first time, I didn't cry. I researched and read up on "can you get your period and still be pregnant". The odds are not in my favor. But there is nothing I can do about it, except take a long hot shower and pop open a bottle of wine.
It's not that I am not disappointed, it's that I was at peace with it. I cannot wish and will myself to be pregnant. I cannot tiptoe through 2(+) weeks of every month thinking "but what if I'm pregnant?". I cannot imagine actually counting the days from suspected ovulation to taking a test- I don't even keep pregnancy tests in my house!! The agreement is that we will go out and buy a brandy new fresh one the day we really think it could be- instead of keeping any around that may get old and stale and become unreliable.
So the moral to the story, ladies, is: let's keep calm and live on. Let's not have our lives dictated by the struggle we are enduring. We ARE struggling, we ARE stressing, we ARE consumed- by grief, anger, longing, and so many other emotions. But the moment we get back to living, the moment we aren't living and breathing this struggle, is the moment we overcome it. Is the moment we are flooded with peace and serenity. I'm not saying "Just don't think or worry about it and it will happen"... we all know that's a terrible thing to hear! I'm saying release yourself from the stress, the anxiety, the waiting and wondering and "what ifs"... don't miss out on today, on your husband, on your friends and family, on the good things life has to offer, on the good things it IS offering you every moment of every day. Try to stop focusing on what life hasn't offered you. Try to stop focusing so much on the day of the month, the day of your cycle... There's so many of us out there who are not seeing anything positive from all the extra effort and worry and focus we are putting in.
I personally, have given up on the natural way of doing this. But that's for another time...
Comments
Post a Comment