So recently it's all about BLACK lives matter, LGBT lives matter, BLUE (police) lives matter....the question begs to be answered: WHY DON'T ALL LIVES MATTER?
When we were children, we would tell our parents that we had a new friend. They were nice to us. They shared their snack. They were a boy or a girl, and they had brown/blonde/red hair.... they had some distinguishing characteristics. Most likely, we picked them out because #1 they were nice to us and #2 they stood out to us. Maybe because of their characteristics, but probably because of their personality. I really don't think I ever came home and told my parents I had a black/white/purple (whatever) friend- that didn't matter.
But maybe when my parents finally met that special friend they said something like "Oh they're Asian" or "oh the little black boy". It took an adult's perception to put a gender or raced based category to my new friend. And then you grow up doing that- Classifying people as to what you perceive them to be.
I regularly state that I have an Asian friend. But she is more than that. She's probably my sole mate ha. She's Filipino and Puerto Rican and yet she was born here so she's actually AMERICAN. She's also covered in tattoos. She has beautiful long black hair. She doesn't wear much make-up because (in her own words) she barely has eyelids anyway. She's a single mom. She has 2 beautiful daughters. They are WHITE- they have barely any Asian traces in them. She is a hard worker. She has a white collar job. She lives in the suburbs of a big city. She has a college degree- she is paying off student loans and supporting her children. And yet, when I talk about her, I always tell people she is my Asian friend.
Now-side note- you may look at that description of MY FRIEND and have lots of opinions about her. Her life choices. You may have made a judgement about her. WHY? Why did you do that? You don't even know her. That's a huge issue that ties into this whole scenario we have going on in our country. People judge other people. Harshly, without reason, without background information. We judge. we- society- sucks. ANYWAY.
She may not take offense to me calling her my Asian friend because she knows I mean no harm. But why is the fact that she's Asian the part that sticks out the most? I guess over the years it has become a joke because she is the only one I have. Her features stand out. You know what should stand out more?? Her family's support structure and morals. Her extended family is one of the most tight-knit things I have ever seen. I have been to her moms place, her aunt's places, I have seen the aunts uncles and cousins and they are all up in each other's lives, always supporting and helping and loving. Filipinos are tight family people. I love that.
More "white people" should take notes on Filipinos. There's a reason you see them in big groups, they like to be around each other. They rely on family connections, and their interactions can get heated- in a good way or bad way. But they always get over it, forgive, and know that family matters. They value each other. The value people. They value the people in their lives. They accept other people. They marry white people, Puerto Ricans, blacks. They love who they love. They filter into society seamlessly, and yet they have big impacts in smaller ways- in their communities and in their (huge) families.
Did you know Filipinos get grouped into that "Asian" category? You know, just like those annoying tourists you see everywhere with their selfie sticks in people's faces? Filipinos get made fun of for being "squinty", for their natural language use, for their "weird ways". But you don't see an uprising of "Yellow lives matter". Wow. Everything sounds racist.
But seriously. Take it in. Let it sink in. There's a way to do things- there's a way to get recognized- there's a way to get your point across. START AT HOME. teach your kids to be stand up people, stand up citizens, and to respect authority figures (teachers, cops, bosses, nannies, whatever). Teach your kid to be kind and not judgmental. Start it at home in your house, spread it to your extended family, then to your community. Make a small difference. A whole bunch of small differences can combine to big one big difference. But know this- the change you are looking for is kindness and compassion, mutual respect BECAUSE BOTTOM LINE-YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING AND YOU DESERVE IT. BUT TO RECEIVE YOU MUST ALSO GIVE, YOU CAN NOT ALWAYS TAKE. Imagine a world of TAKERS and no GIVERS. Everyone would take from everyone. That isn't fair, it isn't right, and it would suck more than it does now. SO give- give even if you will not receive anything. Try to create balance. There are too many takers, too many self seekers. Not enough givers- of love, compassion, charity, EQUALITY.
TRULY: TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU WISH TO BE TREATED.
When we were children, we would tell our parents that we had a new friend. They were nice to us. They shared their snack. They were a boy or a girl, and they had brown/blonde/red hair.... they had some distinguishing characteristics. Most likely, we picked them out because #1 they were nice to us and #2 they stood out to us. Maybe because of their characteristics, but probably because of their personality. I really don't think I ever came home and told my parents I had a black/white/purple (whatever) friend- that didn't matter.
But maybe when my parents finally met that special friend they said something like "Oh they're Asian" or "oh the little black boy". It took an adult's perception to put a gender or raced based category to my new friend. And then you grow up doing that- Classifying people as to what you perceive them to be.
I regularly state that I have an Asian friend. But she is more than that. She's probably my sole mate ha. She's Filipino and Puerto Rican and yet she was born here so she's actually AMERICAN. She's also covered in tattoos. She has beautiful long black hair. She doesn't wear much make-up because (in her own words) she barely has eyelids anyway. She's a single mom. She has 2 beautiful daughters. They are WHITE- they have barely any Asian traces in them. She is a hard worker. She has a white collar job. She lives in the suburbs of a big city. She has a college degree- she is paying off student loans and supporting her children. And yet, when I talk about her, I always tell people she is my Asian friend.
Now-side note- you may look at that description of MY FRIEND and have lots of opinions about her. Her life choices. You may have made a judgement about her. WHY? Why did you do that? You don't even know her. That's a huge issue that ties into this whole scenario we have going on in our country. People judge other people. Harshly, without reason, without background information. We judge. we- society- sucks. ANYWAY.
She may not take offense to me calling her my Asian friend because she knows I mean no harm. But why is the fact that she's Asian the part that sticks out the most? I guess over the years it has become a joke because she is the only one I have. Her features stand out. You know what should stand out more?? Her family's support structure and morals. Her extended family is one of the most tight-knit things I have ever seen. I have been to her moms place, her aunt's places, I have seen the aunts uncles and cousins and they are all up in each other's lives, always supporting and helping and loving. Filipinos are tight family people. I love that.
More "white people" should take notes on Filipinos. There's a reason you see them in big groups, they like to be around each other. They rely on family connections, and their interactions can get heated- in a good way or bad way. But they always get over it, forgive, and know that family matters. They value each other. The value people. They value the people in their lives. They accept other people. They marry white people, Puerto Ricans, blacks. They love who they love. They filter into society seamlessly, and yet they have big impacts in smaller ways- in their communities and in their (huge) families.
Did you know Filipinos get grouped into that "Asian" category? You know, just like those annoying tourists you see everywhere with their selfie sticks in people's faces? Filipinos get made fun of for being "squinty", for their natural language use, for their "weird ways". But you don't see an uprising of "Yellow lives matter". Wow. Everything sounds racist.
But seriously. Take it in. Let it sink in. There's a way to do things- there's a way to get recognized- there's a way to get your point across. START AT HOME. teach your kids to be stand up people, stand up citizens, and to respect authority figures (teachers, cops, bosses, nannies, whatever). Teach your kid to be kind and not judgmental. Start it at home in your house, spread it to your extended family, then to your community. Make a small difference. A whole bunch of small differences can combine to big one big difference. But know this- the change you are looking for is kindness and compassion, mutual respect BECAUSE BOTTOM LINE-YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING AND YOU DESERVE IT. BUT TO RECEIVE YOU MUST ALSO GIVE, YOU CAN NOT ALWAYS TAKE. Imagine a world of TAKERS and no GIVERS. Everyone would take from everyone. That isn't fair, it isn't right, and it would suck more than it does now. SO give- give even if you will not receive anything. Try to create balance. There are too many takers, too many self seekers. Not enough givers- of love, compassion, charity, EQUALITY.
TRULY: TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU WISH TO BE TREATED.
Comments
Post a Comment