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Let's talk about Girl Scouts

I didn't used to be proud to say I was a Girl Scout- not while I was in middle or high school, at least.
When you were in kindergarten, everyone joined up, did it until maybe 3rd grade. Then you started weeding out the sports people because practice and games got in the way. . . because sports earn big scholarships. Mind you, I was able to do Girl Scouts AND play sports, but that's just me.

I missed a year somewhere, I want to say 8th grade when I went to a different school? So I fell behind in my scouting. But I joined back up in high school in the hopes of earning an award. I succeeded in earning a Silver Award, the second highest honor the Girl scouts had. I was unable to cram 2 years worth of work into one senior year of high school, so I opted not to go for the Gold Award. However, the Silver Award padded my college applications well enough. While in college, I worked for the local Girl Scout Council at a summer camp as a counselor, making a difference in young girl's lives.

Now-A-Days, they have made a movement where GIRLS can join the BOY Scouts. When asked about it, I try not to get too heated and shrug it off and say it's stupid, and people are dumb.
But tonight, my husband asked me, "If our child is a girl, would you encourage it to join the Girl Scouts or the Boy Scouts?" Serious question?? Serious question.

Mama finally blew her lid on this topic.

Here's some background on the Girl Scouts of the USA:
In 1911, Juliette Gordon Low had a chance meeting with British general Robert Baden-Powell, a war hero and founder of the Boy Scouts. He had founded the Boy Scouts with the intentions of training young boys for defense and preparedness in case of military invasion. Baden-Powell emphasized that the training should be fun, an idea that Juliette "Daisy" Low deeply appreciated.
The Girl Guides were led by Baden-Powell's 51-year-old sister, Agnes. These were girls who had appeared in their brothers' Boy Scout troops, dressed in piecemeal uniforms and eager to learn the same skills the boys were learning. Agnes was overwhelmed by the increasing number of girls showing an interest in becoming a Girl Guide, and both the Baden-Powells and Low agreed that these girls should have their own groups. Low started several troops in Scotland and London, for girls of varying income brackets. The effect on the girls' self-esteem was so striking that Low decided she had to take the program to the United States, starting with her hometown of Savannah, Georgia. On March 12, 1912, Juliette Low registered the first troop of American Girl Guides. Renamed the Girl Scouts in 1913, Low used her own money, and the resources of friends and family, to push the organization to new heights.

So to recap: a strong, successful woman thought that girls of all all backgrounds should be taught defense and preparedness and be trained in a way that was both fun and tactical. But the idea was that the girls should have their own groups to grow and learn in, because boys and girls grow and learn differently, and because the self-esteem boosters and other positive outcomes of the girls only groups were so very powerful.

Now a days, the idea is that girls can do anything boys can, and possibly in fact that girls are not equal to but BETTER THAN boys. Slogans like "the future is female", "the future belongs to girls", and "girls run the world" get toddlers and pre-schoolers broadcasting this. Is this systematic de-masculinization I smell, or a push on "gender-neutral", a deconstruction of traditional values, or... what the hell is going on?

So, your K-1 child (boy or girl) wants to join a group of similar children and learn some life skills.  Your child is still figuring out their personality, their (awkward but true) sexuality, their socialization skills, and their place in society. How can we make this easier on them? Split them up into smaller groups that have more in common. So, start by splitting by age and or sex since those are two HUGE categories. By doing this, you alleviate some big stresses and allow the child an environment that is easier to grow and be nurtured in.

In turn, each group should be using the same manuals, and have the same opportunities for success and activities. Maybe we don't realize that THAT is where things have gotten away from us. Once you break them down in to boy and girl groups, there are people - usually volunteers- running the smaller groups (troops) who make the decisions for the younger children about what activities are appropriate and will be pursued. If your kids troop is not camping, hiking, or learning "Bear" Grylls style survival skills, it' not the organization you need to turn away from- it's the individuals who are volunteering and guiding your child in particular. At a certain point, the leaders should begin polling the children on what activities they as a group would like to partake in, what badges they want to earn, and what they want to learn and accomplish. That, in itself, teaches kids to make decisions, to work as a group, and to take control of their future. And you know what? If your child is truly unhappy about the outcome of the group decision making, they can always choose to do some side work on their own. OR, they can choose to switch groups to one that is more geared towards their interests. Imagine, your little Girl Scout says she wants to learn/do 'X,Y, and Z' and finds another troop in the area who is planning to do those things. Pretty cool that she took the initiative and made the leap to the new group. Even cooler? Your little Girl Scout polls other girl scouts in the area to see if they are interested in similar activities, and takes that info and uses it to create a new troop geared towards fulfilling those goals. WOW! Your girl just became a leader and a role model!

It may seem as if just up and joining the Boy Scouts is a similar tactic. You, know, instead of trying to better a 100 year old organization geared at making women a priority, making women stronger, building women's self-esteem, and creating 'girl-bosses' extraordinaire. I guess it could be seen that just up and joining the good ole boys is pretty much the same thing? However, it's skipping a lot of steps and pursuing a rather toxic mindset- the "anything you can do I can do better" mindset that women and men have for each other. "I can do anything a boy can, I can be better than a boy, I can hang with the boys". Do you know why I call this a toxic mindset? Because it's selfish and one sided. #1- it promotes thinking and behaviors of putting others down. #2- men are not allowed the same thought process. They cannot promote 'man- power', 'the future belongs to boys', or the thought that 'I can be better than a girl'. Apparently, because "men have ruled the world since, forever" men are to be decommissioned and rendered obsolete... which is a far cry from EQUALITY.

But back to scouting. I was a Girl Sout. I worked hard, I enjoyed my activities, I enjoyed the 2x a year jubilee meet-ups where boy and girl scouts from all over my state got together, were broken into teams, and competed against each other for prizes. What do I mean?
I mean troops showed up, you went down to the meeting hall, and the organizers broke you into groups of 3 girls and 3 boys (or some similar equal number). You then met with your group, and went off for the next 2 days to conquer obstacles together, complete tasks, earn points, and ultimately try to be crowned champion scouts and the end of weekend celebrations.
Some of the tasks were math or science related, some where survival, some were history or nutrition or just brain puzzles. I remember that we had to build a shelter that would comfortably fit every member of our group- with their own personal space- from a pile of 'garbage' items... in the rain. We could not account for space saved sitting on each other's laps (awkward) or anything like that. And apparently, the organizers knew the best way to do it, so you were judged on how close you could come to their 'adult-sized' outcome. And you had to do it in under an hour or something like that...mostly to keep groups moving. At another check point we had to use apparatus to collect fresh water, and then calculate how to split it evenly between the group based on BMI or bodyweight or something that made it nutritionally fair. At another check point we had to retriever a life vest with a weighted ball in it (synthesizing a drowning victim) from the lake using either a row boat or canoe, and quickly but blindly decide who was going to go out to retrieve the victim. That was interesting, because first you have to determine who has the skills to get out there, and then you have to determine who has the skills to get the 'victim' into the boat. I didn't learn how to easily and safely get a victim out of the water into a boat of some sort until I was 30 years old, where I learned to correctly grab hold and then collapse backwards, using my body-weight to pull a person of any size up and out of the water. But anyway. There were plenty of other puzzles and obstacles- the weekend was a great learning and team building experience. And yeah, I kissed a boy at the end of weekend dance party.

Sometimes I wonder if every weekend was like that, would I be kissing boys every weekend?? If I was teamed up with boys all the time, would I have felt pressured to either hide my femininity or over express it? Would I have been able to grow into the confident young woman I am?

SO, the way I answered the question my husband asked was with ANGER. I was angry that kids these days think they should change things that people worked hard to establish and that the experiences I had scouting isn't good enough for them. I was angry that someone thinks my daughter should join the boy scouts, or that my son should have girls joining him in a place that was designated for young men and women to separately learn and hone similar skills. There are so many opportunities in life for men and women, boys and girls, to partner up and work and learn together. It still remains that sometimes, it is better to be separate. It is better to focus on the activities at hand rather than who you are doing them with, or who you are competing against. Girls competing against girls is cut throat enough! I beat out the goody two shoes in my troop at a baking competition... I'm not much of a baker but I picked a recipe I knew I'd like to eat and I knocked that ball out of the park. She was not happy to come in 3rd to my 2nd!!

I guess what I'm trying to say is, even though change is inevitable there are stages and steps to take. Why would we completely obliterate the GIRL SCOUTS OF AMERICA, created by women for women promoting women... to join the Boy Scouts? Why wouldn't we first take charge of OUR organization and revamp it, make it stronger, and continue a legacy of strong women? Why would we just throw that all away in the name of "Anything you can do, I can do better"?. Why can't we be women and embrace being women. Isn't that what femininity is truly all about??

Comments

  1. As a Scoutmaster and father of 4 sons- 2 Eagle Scouts, 1 Life Scout and one still advancing- I completely agree with you. Excellent article !!

    ReplyDelete

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