It's kind of funny when people tell you
not to complain
or worry
or have an opinion
or -worst of all- do something
I hate the phrase "you wouldn't understand....". It's usually followed by something generalized or judgemental that the person has no clue how it affects you (and truthfully probably doesn't care).
You wouldn't understand, you're white. You wouldn't understand, you're skinny. You wouldn't understand, you have a college degree. You wouldn't understand, you have money. You wouldn't understand you're not a wife/parent/or any other designation.
And ya know it's actually hurtful... Because you're assuming I'm not HUMAN- that I don't CARE. That I don't have that basic human compassion for others in me. You assume I don't have feelings or can't understand complex human interactions or thoughts. All sorts of assuming. And after assuming how I think or feel, what I am or am not... You then try to rationalize to me your thoughts and feelings and perspective.
Honestly- I should have shut you out at that point but I feel you still need someone to just listen even though you've thoroughly insulted me.
And then I'll sit there and listen and nod and say "I don't know what to say"... Which isn't the truth.
The truth is I know plenty of things to say. Have plenty of ideas for you, have plenty of insight. I have lots of knowledge to share.
At this point, I feel you won't be listening or take me seriously and really don't care for my help or opinion because you've already disrespected it by claiming I wouldn't understand.
And so you get your self heard.... And you get no resolution from someone who might be able to help. I guess that leads me to believe you didn't actually want help in the first place. It's such a vicious cycle and more than that, a terrible thing to do, when we treat people in our lives like this.
Changing the world truly starts with changing from within. Changing what goes on in our hearts, in our lives, in our house, in our families, in our neighborhood, in our communities, in our towns, in our states, and then finally in our country. We have to start small to grow something big. We have to start with ourselves to change the world.
not to complain
or worry
or have an opinion
or -worst of all- do something
I hate the phrase "you wouldn't understand....". It's usually followed by something generalized or judgemental that the person has no clue how it affects you (and truthfully probably doesn't care).
You wouldn't understand, you're white. You wouldn't understand, you're skinny. You wouldn't understand, you have a college degree. You wouldn't understand, you have money. You wouldn't understand you're not a wife/parent/or any other designation.
And ya know it's actually hurtful... Because you're assuming I'm not HUMAN- that I don't CARE. That I don't have that basic human compassion for others in me. You assume I don't have feelings or can't understand complex human interactions or thoughts. All sorts of assuming. And after assuming how I think or feel, what I am or am not... You then try to rationalize to me your thoughts and feelings and perspective.
Honestly- I should have shut you out at that point but I feel you still need someone to just listen even though you've thoroughly insulted me.
And then I'll sit there and listen and nod and say "I don't know what to say"... Which isn't the truth.
The truth is I know plenty of things to say. Have plenty of ideas for you, have plenty of insight. I have lots of knowledge to share.
At this point, I feel you won't be listening or take me seriously and really don't care for my help or opinion because you've already disrespected it by claiming I wouldn't understand.
And so you get your self heard.... And you get no resolution from someone who might be able to help. I guess that leads me to believe you didn't actually want help in the first place. It's such a vicious cycle and more than that, a terrible thing to do, when we treat people in our lives like this.
Changing the world truly starts with changing from within. Changing what goes on in our hearts, in our lives, in our house, in our families, in our neighborhood, in our communities, in our towns, in our states, and then finally in our country. We have to start small to grow something big. We have to start with ourselves to change the world.
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