There are so many things to compare and fight for in this day and age. Comparing women vs men and fighting for equal rights. Comparing legal citizens vs illegal citizens and fighting for their rights. Comparing gay vs straight, humanitarian outlook vs self-survival outlook, or classic gender assignment vs new age gender assignment.... really the list can go on but I'm already face-palming and shaking my head....
WHY?
Because the bottom line is we are all HUMANS (right??) and we all have certain unalienable rights- in my opinion best outlined as life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness... and then to be sub-categorized accordingly.
What I would like to focus on, in light of February being BLACK HISTORY MONTH, is the Black vs White conundrum that all people are faced with.
Last night I attended an event, and I was the minority. Me. White, suburban ME. I was out to promote a dear friend of mine and have a good time. I was out of place and felt it. There were a handful of latino girls, and a handful ofAsiann girls. I quickly realised that when the DJ said "where my light skinned girls at" they didn't mean me... they meant lighter colored girls. When the DJ asked the performer "Do you like those light skinned girls" he answered "I like my chocolate all sorts of ways, I prefer milk and dark though". While I was dancing, I caught many glimpses coming my way full of disdain and actually looking annoyed- I really thought that if I bumped someone...which happens easily in a crowded club... they might try to throw down. The nasty looks and comments when people purposely bumped me were kinda proof. I sensed a "what the hell are you doing here" feeling in the air... mostly from the females present. The DJ kept asking "where my Haitian ladies at, where my Caribbean ladies, where my Dominicanas". The clubs I usually frequent just ask "where my sexy ladies at"... I never felt sad that I was grouped into that one category before, but on this night I was sad I was clearly left out.
I was a little flabbergasted by the vibe I was feeling- Did they really mean to convey that "this is a black people party and we prefer to party with our own kind"? Did they really mean to segregate themselves and make the others feel uncomfortable or unwanted? Because the person I was there to support/promote... was someone I had known aa long time and I had a lot of respect for. I was so excited for him. He had always made me feel welcome and I considered him like a little brother. But maybe it's just in my head and heart that his color didn't make him the person I cared for (of course it is a part of him, some would say it's his identity?)... but in this setting, amongst his peers, my color made me the unwanted, unlikeable, the reproachable. This was something I had never projected on my friend and couldn't believe his peers were projecting it at me. HOW DOES THIS PROMOTE THE UNITY AND EQUALITY THAT THEY AS A COLLECTIVE GROUP CLAIM TO DESIRE, AND DEMAND TO HAVE?
Anyone who says white people have never felt discriminated against- think again. Not the first time I've been in or around groups that acted like this. Anyone who says "now you know how it feels" and thinks this was the first instance- think again. I'm still a woman. If black people finally got the respect and status they strive to attain, women would still be working to get on the same level as men. It would seem the only group that "seems to have all the best the world has to offer, all the power" is white men- and even that isn't true. My husband as an immigrant is just as susceptible to injustices as any other immigrant... people give him dirty looks and say "this is America speak English (which he does perfectly well mind you, better than some AMERICANS)" if they overhear him speaking in Polish to his family or friends.
Back to my main point- in the spirit of BLACK HISTORY MONTH...
When I got home I proceeded to tell my husband how out of place and unwelcome I felt. **side note, please spare me the "now you know how black people feel all the time" rhetoric. Don't be dramatic- if black people felt like this ALL THE TIME- there would be higher suicide rates. Stop playing the victim. Start treating yourself like you're not a victim, and other people will drink in the confidence that you exude.
So I told him how I could feel the racial divide, how I felt like the minority. And a few analogies came up:
*Disclaimer alert- these analogies will come across exactly as YOU choose to interpret them. The blogger means no disdain, disrespect, and nothing negative- I am merely trying to create a black/white contrast imagine*
You stuck out like sore thumbs?
You were like two flashlights in a dark room?
You were like two onions in a sack of potatoes?
WHY?
Because the bottom line is we are all HUMANS (right??) and we all have certain unalienable rights- in my opinion best outlined as life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness... and then to be sub-categorized accordingly.
What I would like to focus on, in light of February being BLACK HISTORY MONTH, is the Black vs White conundrum that all people are faced with.
Last night I attended an event, and I was the minority. Me. White, suburban ME. I was out to promote a dear friend of mine and have a good time. I was out of place and felt it. There were a handful of latino girls, and a handful ofAsiann girls. I quickly realised that when the DJ said "where my light skinned girls at" they didn't mean me... they meant lighter colored girls. When the DJ asked the performer "Do you like those light skinned girls" he answered "I like my chocolate all sorts of ways, I prefer milk and dark though". While I was dancing, I caught many glimpses coming my way full of disdain and actually looking annoyed- I really thought that if I bumped someone...which happens easily in a crowded club... they might try to throw down. The nasty looks and comments when people purposely bumped me were kinda proof. I sensed a "what the hell are you doing here" feeling in the air... mostly from the females present. The DJ kept asking "where my Haitian ladies at, where my Caribbean ladies, where my Dominicanas". The clubs I usually frequent just ask "where my sexy ladies at"... I never felt sad that I was grouped into that one category before, but on this night I was sad I was clearly left out.
I was a little flabbergasted by the vibe I was feeling- Did they really mean to convey that "this is a black people party and we prefer to party with our own kind"? Did they really mean to segregate themselves and make the others feel uncomfortable or unwanted? Because the person I was there to support/promote... was someone I had known aa long time and I had a lot of respect for. I was so excited for him. He had always made me feel welcome and I considered him like a little brother. But maybe it's just in my head and heart that his color didn't make him the person I cared for (of course it is a part of him, some would say it's his identity?)... but in this setting, amongst his peers, my color made me the unwanted, unlikeable, the reproachable. This was something I had never projected on my friend and couldn't believe his peers were projecting it at me. HOW DOES THIS PROMOTE THE UNITY AND EQUALITY THAT THEY AS A COLLECTIVE GROUP CLAIM TO DESIRE, AND DEMAND TO HAVE?
Anyone who says white people have never felt discriminated against- think again. Not the first time I've been in or around groups that acted like this. Anyone who says "now you know how it feels" and thinks this was the first instance- think again. I'm still a woman. If black people finally got the respect and status they strive to attain, women would still be working to get on the same level as men. It would seem the only group that "seems to have all the best the world has to offer, all the power" is white men- and even that isn't true. My husband as an immigrant is just as susceptible to injustices as any other immigrant... people give him dirty looks and say "this is America speak English (which he does perfectly well mind you, better than some AMERICANS)" if they overhear him speaking in Polish to his family or friends.
Back to my main point- in the spirit of BLACK HISTORY MONTH...
When I got home I proceeded to tell my husband how out of place and unwelcome I felt. **side note, please spare me the "now you know how black people feel all the time" rhetoric. Don't be dramatic- if black people felt like this ALL THE TIME- there would be higher suicide rates. Stop playing the victim. Start treating yourself like you're not a victim, and other people will drink in the confidence that you exude.
So I told him how I could feel the racial divide, how I felt like the minority. And a few analogies came up:
*Disclaimer alert- these analogies will come across exactly as YOU choose to interpret them. The blogger means no disdain, disrespect, and nothing negative- I am merely trying to create a black/white contrast imagine*
You stuck out like sore thumbs?
You were like two flashlights in a dark room?
You were like two onions in a sack of potatoes?
You were like two diamonds in a mound of coal?
Hold the phone, stop the train--- Did you know that diamonds are literally one electron away from being coal??
Diamonds and coal are both, at their base, different forms of the element carbon (C on the periodic table). And yes, pressure is a key part of what turns decaying carbon-based life forms such as plants into coal, as well as what turns carbon into diamonds.
First of all, let's look at the chemical compositions of these two forms of carbon. Diamonds are essentially pure carbon formed into a crystalline structure. The rarer, colored diamonds do contain minor impurities (boron, for example, makes diamonds blue, while nitrogen turns them yellow), but those impurities exist on a scale of just one atom in a million.
Coal is also mostly carbon, but it is hardly pure. Coal also includes many other substances, including hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, sulfur, arsenic, selenium and mercury. Depending on the type of coal and its source, it will also contain various levels of organic materials — coal originates from decaying plants, fungi and even bacteria — as well as moisture. These impurities alone prevent coal from being turned into diamonds.
Beyond that, carbon requires a lot more than pressure to become a diamond. It also requires enormous amounts of heat. In fact, diamonds require a combination of heat (thousands of degrees) and pressure (130,000 atmospheres) that can typically only be found about 90 to 100 miles below the surface of the Earth, deep within the mantle.
Anyway- all science put aside (so in layman's terms) they are the same particles, only under different circumstances. Which is why the coal & diamonds example is a really good one!
But- I bet black people would be offended if you used this example...
I mean, why put thought in and attempt understanding when it's so much easier to be offended?
In conclusion, with that diamonds/coal analogy, I realized something... I realized that we are the same exact thing- blood pumping, breathing, sweating, salivating human beings. regardless of color- the essential make-up is the same. Heads, hearts, minds, walk on 2 legs.... have sass if we want to, are offended if we want to, go to clubs if we want to (ETC ETC ETC)- we are all one. We are all humans. We belong to the same species. Each one is valuable as it perceived. To some- COAL is way more valuable than diamonds. Some think diamonds are useless. Coal provides locomotion, heat, energy, life. Diamonds are just pretty and exotic, and have no real purpose. Then again, some use diamonds for things- like precision drill bits. Some people think coal is dirty and ugly and useless. To a coal miner, a piece of coal is the most beautiful thing they've ever seen. And it's also their paycheck. Everything we see as an issue, is all about perception. if you believe you are beautiful- who cares what other people think. Find the other people who think you are beautiful and hang out with them. If you believe you are oppressed, hang out with other oppressed people and wallow in your oppression. If you want to make a difference- surround yourself with people who want to make a difference. If you think that comparing black people to coal is a negative thing- That's your prerogative, and that is why you treated me the way you did the other night. If you think that because I'm white I'm a racist and a bigot and a slew of other rude things... If you assume things like that- don't be offended if I assume stereotypes about you. If you put it out there, expect it to come back to you.
I hope that what people get out of this entry is that this is not a one-sided thing... it's not ALL white people are against all black people. It's not white people, in general, are against black people. In reality- it goes both ways. If a white person walks into a predominantly black neighborhood, bar, club, salon.... are they being treated exactly the way black people adamantly demand they not be treated? Isn't it supposed to be "love thy neighbor as thyself"... I think that Golden Rule, The golden commandment is the ultimate commandment- treat others (every other) exactly how you wish to be treated.
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