There is no culture to rape.
Rape is, in essence, anti-culture.
I wasn't sexually assaulted because of any sort of culture, but I could attribute it to lack of culture.
"Rape culture" is a term coined by feminists in the 70's, designed to show the ways in which society blames victims and normalized male sexual violence.
Let's not forget that if we are going with the definition of rape culture- blaming victims and shaming them and demeaning them- this can be done by both men and women. It can be just as detrimental to the mental and emotional state of a person as a physical attack.
A wife who hears what her husband is accused of may think to herself that he is not capable of this and thus the attacked must be a lying shameless whore who initiated the event or worse- dreamed it up.
A mother who hears her son raped a girl at a college party could blame it on alcohol, booze, not enough supervision, the girls choice of clothing or over use of makeup or her decision to do the same thing he did- drink the alcohol that was available in the environment they choose to be present in.
What is culture? Culture is the characteristics and knowledge of a particular group of people, defined by everything from language, religion, cuisine, social habits, music and arts. Culture refers to the cumulative deposit of knowledge, experience, beliefs, values, attitudes, meanings, hierarchies, religion, notions of time, roles, spatial relations, concepts of the universe, and material objects and possessions acquired by a group of people in the course of generations. Culture is defined by the customs, arts, social institutions, achievements, attitudes and behavior characteristic of a particular nation, people, or other social group. WOAH- Info overload.
I would love to dig into this 'rape culture" people speak of. People seem to think that just saying to someone "I want to grab her and f*ck her brains out" falls in line with their proposed 'rape culture'. I think rape/sexual assault victims should be consulted and consoled and heard before you create a big scary box to put these situations and behaviors in. Because I feel that most women who have actually lived through it will tell you there is no rhyme or reason to it.
Let me tell you- no one said anything traumatizing to me before they acted on their impulses, their desires. It was spur of the moment, not pre-meditated, even carnal. Sex is often this way.
And if my attackers did say these kinds of things to their buddies in the confines of their dorm or their locker room, or if they heard the fathers and other 'role models' talk like this, it had nothing to do what happened in a booze induced 'rage'.
I 100% agree that most people talk a talk and do not back it up with any action.
Words are how you perceive them, unless they are acted upon.
I don't think anyone cultured my attackers into doing what they did. Instead, I think they cultured them in to a mindset that they are overly important and deserve to be catered to and that if a women presents an opportunity they should always take them up on it. NOT RAPE- but that women will present themselves and they should willingly except no matter what. Including a rag doll of a drunk girl who doesn't know her own name. They were not taught to know the difference. They were not taught to stay away from overly drunk girls who could get them into sticky situations. They seem to think 'sticking' anything that will "let them" is how it works. And that's not RAPE- because I said "anything that will let them". It becomes RAPE when they put no more thought into it than that. When they do not ask for consent, when they take lack of words as consent. Plenty of drunk one night stands happen and people don't call it rape.
Rape is, in essence, anti-culture.
I wasn't sexually assaulted because of any sort of culture, but I could attribute it to lack of culture.
"Rape culture" is a term coined by feminists in the 70's, designed to show the ways in which society blames victims and normalized male sexual violence.
Let's not forget that if we are going with the definition of rape culture- blaming victims and shaming them and demeaning them- this can be done by both men and women. It can be just as detrimental to the mental and emotional state of a person as a physical attack.
A wife who hears what her husband is accused of may think to herself that he is not capable of this and thus the attacked must be a lying shameless whore who initiated the event or worse- dreamed it up.
A mother who hears her son raped a girl at a college party could blame it on alcohol, booze, not enough supervision, the girls choice of clothing or over use of makeup or her decision to do the same thing he did- drink the alcohol that was available in the environment they choose to be present in.
What is culture? Culture is the characteristics and knowledge of a particular group of people, defined by everything from language, religion, cuisine, social habits, music and arts. Culture refers to the cumulative deposit of knowledge, experience, beliefs, values, attitudes, meanings, hierarchies, religion, notions of time, roles, spatial relations, concepts of the universe, and material objects and possessions acquired by a group of people in the course of generations. Culture is defined by the customs, arts, social institutions, achievements, attitudes and behavior characteristic of a particular nation, people, or other social group. WOAH- Info overload.
I would love to dig into this 'rape culture" people speak of. People seem to think that just saying to someone "I want to grab her and f*ck her brains out" falls in line with their proposed 'rape culture'. I think rape/sexual assault victims should be consulted and consoled and heard before you create a big scary box to put these situations and behaviors in. Because I feel that most women who have actually lived through it will tell you there is no rhyme or reason to it.
Let me tell you- no one said anything traumatizing to me before they acted on their impulses, their desires. It was spur of the moment, not pre-meditated, even carnal. Sex is often this way.
And if my attackers did say these kinds of things to their buddies in the confines of their dorm or their locker room, or if they heard the fathers and other 'role models' talk like this, it had nothing to do what happened in a booze induced 'rage'.
I 100% agree that most people talk a talk and do not back it up with any action.
Words are how you perceive them, unless they are acted upon.
I don't think anyone cultured my attackers into doing what they did. Instead, I think they cultured them in to a mindset that they are overly important and deserve to be catered to and that if a women presents an opportunity they should always take them up on it. NOT RAPE- but that women will present themselves and they should willingly except no matter what. Including a rag doll of a drunk girl who doesn't know her own name. They were not taught to know the difference. They were not taught to stay away from overly drunk girls who could get them into sticky situations. They seem to think 'sticking' anything that will "let them" is how it works. And that's not RAPE- because I said "anything that will let them". It becomes RAPE when they put no more thought into it than that. When they do not ask for consent, when they take lack of words as consent. Plenty of drunk one night stands happen and people don't call it rape.
Side note- I'm sure I make what some people would call "predatory comments" and I really don't care who hears them or who dismisses them. And I can accept a certain amount of "big talk" in return. But then again, I'm not easily offended.
Again, I say to you- I was assaulted without any "predatory remarks".... so I really don't see the correlation between people who make comments (talk some big talk) and people who act on predatory or unwanted sexual impulses (walk the walk). Words can hurt, words can inspire, but words only do these things because of how they are received. Actions on the other hand are hard to dispute.I'm still not offended, upset, or traumatized by whatever a certain man said in a private conversation 20 years ago... that is seeming to distract the whole great nation of the United States of America.
I do wish they the two had left the late great Abe Lincoln out of all of their nonsense.
I welcome all questions, comments, backlash, disagreements, consolation remarks. Whatever your input is.
I do wish they the two had left the late great Abe Lincoln out of all of their nonsense.
I welcome all questions, comments, backlash, disagreements, consolation remarks. Whatever your input is.
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