Apparently, my mom and dad were abusive to me when I was a kid.
They made me do chores, behave in public, and go to school. They spanked my butt when I did wrong and there was no other way to get through to me. They gave me a curfew and made me keep to it. They made me get a job and work for the things that I wanted. They insisted that I do my best at school, at my job, and to take pride in my work. I grew up with morals, a good work ethic and respect for the law and my elders. I'm blessed to have been so abused and mistreated!
But when I look around today- I see a lot of "spoiling" and not a lot of parenting.
Seems there are a lot of rude little brats out there and not so many well-behaved children.
My mother worked at a Montessori school, and God Bless Maria Montessori because I think someone warped her vision. At today's Montessori school, children are not supposed to use their imagination- everything must be real life-based. You cannot tell a child "no", "don't", "stop" ... or stop them from doing things- instead, you're supposed to talk them through it and ask them to consider the choice they are making and the consequences (what consequences??).
Now, mind you, we are talking about 3-5-year-olds here. So a 3-year-old who is still learning to put together sentences is supposed to pause and consider his/her choice...... 3-year-olds don't pause. You are lucky if you can get them to sit still a little while. They may consider things... like what will make you mad, or make you laugh, or make them laugh. "NO" and "DON'T" are not the end of the world- people are going to tell them "NO" and "DON'T" their whole lives. Children need to learn how to accept these phrases and deal with them. "No, you can't have a cookie" leads to "No, you can't kiss me" or "No, you can't have the promotion". If they never learned what NO means, how can they accept NO moving forward?
When little Joey gets everything he asks for or gets to keep everything he takes without asking, are you setting up your child for success in the real world? How do you teach a child that hitting and biting hurts without demonstrating? I know that SOUNDS mean, but I'm not saying anyone should bite a chunk out of a toddlers arm... dogs and horses and other animals can nip without breaking skin to get a point across.
My nephew can be sweet, and he can also hit you, pinch you, spit in your face-- and his primary caregivers seem to think it's funny, unless it's done to them. But even when it's done to them, they go with a light-hearted approach that leaves the young one laughing in their faces.
I think we need to start PARENTING our youth again. Put the fear of God back in them, put respect back in them, and let them know that they need to earn other's respect- not expect ANYTHING from anybody.
They made me do chores, behave in public, and go to school. They spanked my butt when I did wrong and there was no other way to get through to me. They gave me a curfew and made me keep to it. They made me get a job and work for the things that I wanted. They insisted that I do my best at school, at my job, and to take pride in my work. I grew up with morals, a good work ethic and respect for the law and my elders. I'm blessed to have been so abused and mistreated!
But when I look around today- I see a lot of "spoiling" and not a lot of parenting.
Seems there are a lot of rude little brats out there and not so many well-behaved children.
My mother worked at a Montessori school, and God Bless Maria Montessori because I think someone warped her vision. At today's Montessori school, children are not supposed to use their imagination- everything must be real life-based. You cannot tell a child "no", "don't", "stop" ... or stop them from doing things- instead, you're supposed to talk them through it and ask them to consider the choice they are making and the consequences (what consequences??).
Now, mind you, we are talking about 3-5-year-olds here. So a 3-year-old who is still learning to put together sentences is supposed to pause and consider his/her choice...... 3-year-olds don't pause. You are lucky if you can get them to sit still a little while. They may consider things... like what will make you mad, or make you laugh, or make them laugh. "NO" and "DON'T" are not the end of the world- people are going to tell them "NO" and "DON'T" their whole lives. Children need to learn how to accept these phrases and deal with them. "No, you can't have a cookie" leads to "No, you can't kiss me" or "No, you can't have the promotion". If they never learned what NO means, how can they accept NO moving forward?
When little Joey gets everything he asks for or gets to keep everything he takes without asking, are you setting up your child for success in the real world? How do you teach a child that hitting and biting hurts without demonstrating? I know that SOUNDS mean, but I'm not saying anyone should bite a chunk out of a toddlers arm... dogs and horses and other animals can nip without breaking skin to get a point across.
My nephew can be sweet, and he can also hit you, pinch you, spit in your face-- and his primary caregivers seem to think it's funny, unless it's done to them. But even when it's done to them, they go with a light-hearted approach that leaves the young one laughing in their faces.
I think we need to start PARENTING our youth again. Put the fear of God back in them, put respect back in them, and let them know that they need to earn other's respect- not expect ANYTHING from anybody.
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