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proud mom to a furbaby

A "real mom" posted a letter to self-proclaimed "pet parents" saying they need to stop considering and calling themselves this. 

Funny because I had a very long drawn out "pet mom" convo via Facebook with someone already. I really need to post it here one day.
But let me tell you what fuels these rants by people...
IGNORANCE. BOREDOM. LACK OF EDUCATION. JUDGMENTAL TENDENCIES. Did I mention boredom??

This writer posted these as the biggest reasons not to compare yourself to a real parent, because..... (her reasons have the numbers, my responses have the ***)

1. My daughter ages one damn year at a time, not seven. She’s not gonna be a sweet, deaf old girl by 13.***Not sure what this has to do with anything. It just means you have LESS time with the one you love and care for so you better make it worthwhile.
2. Sure, leashes have been adopted by parents. Now, I’m not about that, but I get it. Either way, I certainly can’t leave my kid tied to a pole outside of a store until I’ve finished my business (although I certainly wish I could sometimes). 
***You can't tie a dog to a pole and not worry it will be stolen or injured or that the cops will be called either... If you can do this without a second thought you must be a special kind of person....
3. I can’t drop my daughter off somewhere and pay to have someone bathe her, and, even if I could, it would definitely be frowned upon.***Maybe you can't because you can't afford to, not because it can't be done. Plenty of people do it. They even do it with their elderly parents.
4. I can’t just keep her in the yard either. And I certainly can’t just leave her home with a wee-wee pad and a couple of bowls of food and water. Just forget about dropping her off at some kid hotel to be pampered and fed while I skip town for the weekend.*** Actually, when we were younger we were kept in the house or yard without adult supervision. We were well raised and trusted at a certain age to behave so this was acceptable. You also CAN drop your kid off at some "kid hotel" (daycare??) This lady must not be privy to the perks of dropping your kid off somewhere for the weekend, because I've heard this is a thing....
5. I can’t write a Facebook post that includes a cuddly photo and a description of all of her positive attributes, and then advertise that she is in need of a new home because she doesn’t fit in my new apartment.***You CAN take a cuddly picture and bore us all with your kids best attributes, and if you're the kind of person who gives up your dog because you moved somewhere where they are not allowed or you "don't have time" you shouldn't have gotten a dog and probably should not have children either, because you're not up for that commitment. But, there are plenty of people who drop their kids off because they can't or don't want to take care of them- they're out there. I mean they even get rid of them before they come out. I'm glad you're not like that? Did you want a freakin cookie??
6. I can’t have her “fixed” to avoid unwanted early grandmahood.
***That's only an American thing, dogs in Europe don't get fixed and good pet owners don't allow their pets to be "freaks on a leash". It's called discipline, and it works with humans too! And I'm pretty sure you can give your kid birth control as young as 16. Better yet, you can communicate with your child and teach them how to be a responsible and respectable human being so they make that decision on their own.
7. I can’t stick her in a small bag under the seat in front of me on an airplane.***That's a terrible thing to do to an animal, too, because the airline warns you that items placed there will shift and thus, you could hurt the animal. But you CAN hold your baby on your lap not buckled in with only your arms to protect them....
8. I can’t breed her pretty little self and sell the offspring***Because selling humans is now illegal.  But if you'd like to breed your child and sell your grandchildren, you probably have a problem (there are some cultures where that's not too far-fetched...)
9. Clothes, shoes, underwear, socks, and so much more — it’s all required when parenting a child, and must be replaced with often alarming frequency. ***There's plenty required when you own anything... a car, a house, a goldfish, God forbid you google what you'll NEED to take care of a HORSE. EVERYTHING has needs or maintenance associated. What is actually required is much less than people acquire, and the alarming frequency that you replace said items is also a whole other first world problem that mostly only Americans have.
10. All of that “role model” stuff and the need to lead by example? It’s no joke. The weight of shaping the next Michelle Obama or Mae Jemison is all on me now.***As the pack leader, you are the role model for your dog and their bad behavior is a direct reflection of your bad "training" or "parenting" habits. You shouldn't be shaping your kid to be like anyone, but nurturing them to become their own successful person. I personally don't see Michelle Obama as a role model soooooo yeah....
11. Dealing with other parents is nothing like hanging out with friends at the local dog park. Nothing.***Dealing with other humans is the same all around- it sucks. Be a hermit if you don't like it. Also- I have gotten into it with people at the dog park. Ignorance knows no genres.
12. Puberty. Enough said. Fingers crossed I come through that with at least some of my marbles.***Period pads for dogs exist. Dogs come into heat with mood swings and unwelcome suitors and blood. My dog has his balls, and his moments....
13. That $60,000 plus per year that parents need to come up with to somehow, someway send their kids to college? Try sleeping at night with that weight on your shoulders.***HAHA you are funny. Parents don't have to come up with that- I'm still paying off $60,000 and the beginning balance was $110k. Wishful thinking that parents have to or will help pay that. Wait wait, did yours pay your college and you grew up to complain about dumb shit like this? What a waste...
But if you would like to pay for your kid's college, have you ever heard of a 529 college savings account? Google it.
14. I will get to be a grandma. I will get to keep being challenged and held accountable for everything I say, do, and believe.  *** If your pet has offspring and you consider them your child, so will you!!!! If you do not, at any point,  keep being challenged and held accountable for everything you say, do, and believe- you've probably died. Come on that's actually just life for any decent human being.
15. Silver lining: It will be my turn to harass her when I get old.
***You'll harass anyone you can when you get old, if you want to harass. I pity the poor people working at your retirement home.
-Sincerely,
A horse, pig, cat, dog, goat MOM (haven't been blessed with kids yet but I like all my 4 legged kids better than most dumbass people anyway)

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