Skip to main content

unrealistic expectations pt 1

Divorce rates are high- we know that. 
Right now in the media things people are chatting about is :
"How many times has Donald Trump been married?"
"How did Hillary stay with Bill?"
"how many guys does Taylor Swift go through?"
"Amber Heard and Johnny Depp get divorced after ___ months"

I'd like to think of "forever" and "happily ever after" all that stuff- but sometimes people aren't a good match. Sometimes people change. Sometimes the grass is greener. Sometimes there's just someone truly better. Sometimes, we are lazy and don't put the work in (especially when shit isn't so easy) and that's when it all fizzles out. 
And everyone says it- "The key to relationships is good communication". How many people work on their communication skills? How many people actually HEAR and DIGEST what the other person is saying to them- especially when it has to do with FEELINGS. It would be a reassuring thing to know that even if there is an [heated]argument between the two of you, you know how you're going to get past it. Not everyone has that though. Not everyone talks about every little thing.

I love my husband. Times get tough. We fight over everything from groceries, money, time spent together, time spent apart, time spent with friends, time spent with the dog, what town we want to live in, who's going to do the laundry.... the list goes on. Most is petty stuff. But, I'm a talker. He really has no choice but to talk it through if I want to. Our biggest issues arise when he is the one not doing the talking. He likes to keep things locked up. We have way more serious blow-outs over those kind of issues than anything else. 

But seriously, I told someone today that I definitely feel "happily ever after" is a unrealistic expectation. I do not look forward to my marriage failing. I do not think it is "inevitable" in any way. I don't even think about it. However- I am not going to kid myself and think that it's like a fairy tale. I know that work, blood, sweat, and tears will go in to making this last. I'm up for the challenge.
ARE YOU?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Everyone's thinking it, I'm asking: Is today's left wing liberalism a mental illness?

This is a serious topic of discussion on 'the right'. Not even the far right... the center right. The " 68 % conservatives", the "Centrists", the "Young Outsiders", and the "Somewhat Liberals".  I don't know what the spectrum is for "political or world views" but I'd have to say I hang to the right and the conservative. Which sounds so weird, because CONSERVATIVE is not really a word I'd  ever  use to describe myself. But I talked about this in past blog posts... today's topic is, are people on the FAR LEFT suffering from mental illness? My psychologist sister would have you believe that everyone suffers from some form of mental illness in varying degrees. I suffer from anxiety which induces depression. FUN! The anxiety is inherited, the depression is what occurs when you stop learning how to cope with new or prolonged anxiety inducing situations. Anxiety is a product of chemical imbalance, it can be trea

Kevin Hart has said what every normal person feels/believes...

As I sit here in my pajamas, trying to finish eating cold oatmeal and drink cold coffee, with my 3 month old daughter fussing at my side- the little dictator that she is- I say to myself, "Wow, if only 20-year-old me could see me now". What do I mean when I say that? I mean I was pretty much hell on wheels until I was 28. A hot mess for too long. In no way a role model or even proud of myself for .... anything really. I didn't speak eloquently or smartly, I was often not a respectful person towards other, I was probably down right insensitive. And I was kinda a tramp. Not exactly the kind of person you'd want around kids or even to take home to meet Mom and Grandma. But, hey- PEOPLE CHANGE. In the words of Kevin Hart: "   If you don't believe that people change, grow, evolve as they get older, I don't know what to tell you. If you want to hold people in a position where they always have to justify or explain their past, then do you."   Can we all

Zoey Tur V Ben Shapiro... feelings V facts

There is a video of a Trans man (a man who charades as a woman of sorts?) named Zoey Tur (Inside Edition reporter) engaging in a conversation with Ben Shapiro (Breitbart News senior editor-at-large). It seems they were supposed to be having some sort of debate about whether Caitlin Jenner, also trans (a man who charades as a woman of sorts?), deserved the "woman of the year award" for 'bravery'. It erupted when Ben stated that Caitlin is in no way a woman, and neither is Zoey, because- FACTS. Fav line ever:  "Facts don't care about your feelings." Ben refuses to live in Zoey's reality. Ben refuses to accept things that are not based on facts. Ben sees the facts and will not be bullied into saying, doing, or believing anything illogical. At one point, the panel started getting raucous and off topic, so Ben Shapiro asked if the discussion was supposed to be on genetics and asked Zoey, “What are your genetics, sir?” (because, FACTS) Zoey proceeded