So the question becomes- what is the real issue at hand?
I love the picture form my other post ...
[person 1] She was drunk, what did she expect?
[person 2] A HANGOVER. She expected a hangover.
So it keeps being plastered in the headlines that people are outraged. People are outraged the kid had to go to jail, people are outraged he got a light 6 month sentence, people are outraged he will probably only do 2 months, people are outraged about his parent's (and multiple other letters written to the judge) character accounts and pleading letters to not do this to their bright young star of a child. Jurors refuse to sit under the judge, cases are being carefully considered before letting him preside over them.
Do you know who is silent through this all? THE VICTIM.
She said her piece. And it was powerful. It was powerful enough to spark a nation. And now she is on her own. It is interesting that SHE is not asking for an appeal. I wonder how she feels. (I know how she feels) But I really wonder, what is her next course of action. I want to know how she is learning to cope with life after this ordeal. I wonder how she is getting along. I wonder if she ever met the 2 good Samaritans. She knows their names, but they don't know hers. I wonder how her boyfriend feels about this all- how they are getting along. I wonder how her sister is getting along. I wonder what her goals and plans are now moving forward.
Do we blame alcohol like we blame guns?
When does a person finally get held responsible for their actions?
Do you know how they handle rapists and victims in other cultures? Sometimes the victim is as perpetrated as the offender. A lot of people are put to death if they are convicted in other countries. The rest of the world does not take so kindly and lightly to sexual offenders who violate the lives, body, and soul of another person. I have heard that prison justice is a "thing". That other inmates who are in for petty charges don't take kindly to rapists and child molesters- because they have wives and daughters (or sisters or mothers or aunts).
I think in this case there was a lot of evidence that was overlooked (or not brought to light):
-The two boys who found the scene stated he was "humping her". That is something no one will ever know what actually happened. That must be a thing of nightmares for this girl.
-The kid claimed he never drank or partied before school, and yet he has an run-in with police and alcohol on his records?
-The kid said he couldn't pick her out of a line-up but he knew he had put his fingers in her.
-He was drinking too, but they only seem to mention that she was drinking.
-Neither of them really know how (or why) they got behind the dumpster.
-Rumor has it a black boy went to trial for a similar incident at around the same time and got the 13 year sentence. It wasn't in any national papers though.
What draws people in to read about this case? For me, it's my own experience. It's the fact that I am waiting to here that there will be better justice. that this kid won't be treated like a prince and get out of there early.
Is it because he's a young white male? A Stanford student? is it because he was a great swimmer? Is it because he supposedly was on the fast track to the Olympics? IF SO- What the F**K does that have to do with anything??? Why does all of this seem to overshadow what he did to this girl?
And believe me- no I don't want details about what happened to her, and I understand she is keeping quiet SO MEDIA HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO KEEP BEATING THIS DEAD HORSE.. BUT EVERY TIME I SEE A NEW ARTICLE ABOUT IT I AM HOPING THAT THEY WILL SAY SOMETHING POSITIVE IN HER FAVOR (LIKE THAT THEY'RE RE-OPENING THE SENTENCING PHASE OR SOMETHING). NOTHING. She is forgotten, he is remembered.
But in my eyes, she is not forgotten. My heart went out to her. I wanted to hold her and listen to her and share her burden. I wish someone had reached out to me. I drowned my sorrows after my episode. I drank MORE. Everyone deals with things differently. I looked for love and acceptance and worth in all the wrong places. I once had my husband (then boyfriend or fiancee?) touch me in a way that brought on a panic attack almost 10 years after the incident. that is a reality- its called PTSD. It is NOT just for military veterans who went to war (but thank you to those who served). Anyone who went through a traumatic experience can be affected by this disorder. Just the other day my mother texted me that she was out at a dinner and somehow was talking to a young man who said he went to my college and played football and said he knew me... and she immediately asked if he was involved. An event liek this will haunt you. You will survive the day to day but it will creep up on you no matter how far back int he darkest corners of your mind you hide it. And she will need support. She will need comfort. She will need to become safe and familiar in her own skin again.
So please, please-- as you keep seeing this in the news. Please don't forget about her- the victim. Please know this will affect her almost every moment of every day of her life (for the time being) and hopefully one day she will rise above it and feel safe again. #silverlining
I love the picture form my other post ...
[person 1] She was drunk, what did she expect?
[person 2] A HANGOVER. She expected a hangover.
So it keeps being plastered in the headlines that people are outraged. People are outraged the kid had to go to jail, people are outraged he got a light 6 month sentence, people are outraged he will probably only do 2 months, people are outraged about his parent's (and multiple other letters written to the judge) character accounts and pleading letters to not do this to their bright young star of a child. Jurors refuse to sit under the judge, cases are being carefully considered before letting him preside over them.
Do you know who is silent through this all? THE VICTIM.
She said her piece. And it was powerful. It was powerful enough to spark a nation. And now she is on her own. It is interesting that SHE is not asking for an appeal. I wonder how she feels. (I know how she feels) But I really wonder, what is her next course of action. I want to know how she is learning to cope with life after this ordeal. I wonder how she is getting along. I wonder if she ever met the 2 good Samaritans. She knows their names, but they don't know hers. I wonder how her boyfriend feels about this all- how they are getting along. I wonder how her sister is getting along. I wonder what her goals and plans are now moving forward.
Do we blame alcohol like we blame guns?
When does a person finally get held responsible for their actions?
Do you know how they handle rapists and victims in other cultures? Sometimes the victim is as perpetrated as the offender. A lot of people are put to death if they are convicted in other countries. The rest of the world does not take so kindly and lightly to sexual offenders who violate the lives, body, and soul of another person. I have heard that prison justice is a "thing". That other inmates who are in for petty charges don't take kindly to rapists and child molesters- because they have wives and daughters (or sisters or mothers or aunts).
I think in this case there was a lot of evidence that was overlooked (or not brought to light):
-The two boys who found the scene stated he was "humping her". That is something no one will ever know what actually happened. That must be a thing of nightmares for this girl.
-The kid claimed he never drank or partied before school, and yet he has an run-in with police and alcohol on his records?
-The kid said he couldn't pick her out of a line-up but he knew he had put his fingers in her.
-He was drinking too, but they only seem to mention that she was drinking.
-Neither of them really know how (or why) they got behind the dumpster.
-Rumor has it a black boy went to trial for a similar incident at around the same time and got the 13 year sentence. It wasn't in any national papers though.
What draws people in to read about this case? For me, it's my own experience. It's the fact that I am waiting to here that there will be better justice. that this kid won't be treated like a prince and get out of there early.
Is it because he's a young white male? A Stanford student? is it because he was a great swimmer? Is it because he supposedly was on the fast track to the Olympics? IF SO- What the F**K does that have to do with anything??? Why does all of this seem to overshadow what he did to this girl?
And believe me- no I don't want details about what happened to her, and I understand she is keeping quiet SO MEDIA HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO KEEP BEATING THIS DEAD HORSE.. BUT EVERY TIME I SEE A NEW ARTICLE ABOUT IT I AM HOPING THAT THEY WILL SAY SOMETHING POSITIVE IN HER FAVOR (LIKE THAT THEY'RE RE-OPENING THE SENTENCING PHASE OR SOMETHING). NOTHING. She is forgotten, he is remembered.
But in my eyes, she is not forgotten. My heart went out to her. I wanted to hold her and listen to her and share her burden. I wish someone had reached out to me. I drowned my sorrows after my episode. I drank MORE. Everyone deals with things differently. I looked for love and acceptance and worth in all the wrong places. I once had my husband (then boyfriend or fiancee?) touch me in a way that brought on a panic attack almost 10 years after the incident. that is a reality- its called PTSD. It is NOT just for military veterans who went to war (but thank you to those who served). Anyone who went through a traumatic experience can be affected by this disorder. Just the other day my mother texted me that she was out at a dinner and somehow was talking to a young man who said he went to my college and played football and said he knew me... and she immediately asked if he was involved. An event liek this will haunt you. You will survive the day to day but it will creep up on you no matter how far back int he darkest corners of your mind you hide it. And she will need support. She will need comfort. She will need to become safe and familiar in her own skin again.
So please, please-- as you keep seeing this in the news. Please don't forget about her- the victim. Please know this will affect her almost every moment of every day of her life (for the time being) and hopefully one day she will rise above it and feel safe again. #silverlining
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